Categories: JoBlo Originals

Movie Jail: This week’s defendant is…M. Night Shyamalan!

Welcome to Movie Jail, a facility like any other, only its inmates are

Hollywood

writers, directors, actors and producers. This column will serve as a

Movie Jail

trial. We will put one defendant on trial; lay out arguments for the

Prosecution and

Defense. And we leave it up to YOU, the reader, to decide whether the

defendant

is guilty of his or her crime. What crime? The crime of consistently being

a stinking

shithouse.

The

Defendant


M. Night

Shyamalan

The

Case

The Prosecution: The Last Airbender, Lady in the

Water, The Village, The Happening*

Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, there are many

institutions that are made for certain people. Schools, students. Fast food

restaurants, failed students. But if there’s one person that the institution

of Movie Jail was created for, it just might be M. Night Shyamalan.

We’re hard pressed to find a more requested defendant than Mr. Shyamalan and

with After Earth set to release this summer, we feel it’s finally time

to put the writer/director/producer/plot twister on trial. How many chances

is Hollywood going to give this guy? He hasn’t had a fresh rating since

2002’s Signs and even some people are iffy on that. He made his plot

twist, “aha” moment a trademark and created some pretty ridiculous stories

around it. His last movie The Last Airbender, while looking sometimes

pretty was an absolute disaster and his producing credit on 2010’s

Devil had people booing at the 2010 San Diego

Comic Con. Isn’t it time we lock this guy up and throw away the

key? Or do we need to see how Father and Son Smith handle things in After

Earth?

The Defense: The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, Devil

(producer), Signs, Stuart Little (writer)*

Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, we know we’re facing an

uphill battle and that you may already have your decision made (most likely),

but let us attempt to sway you into a dismissal. It’s true that Mr.

Shyamalan hasn’t had a bonafied hit in some time…..okay, 11 years, but

let’s disregard his first two lesser known movies and start with 1999’s

The Sixth Sense. Including this and the soon to be released After

Earth, he’s directed a total of 8 movies. Now, almost half of those

movies are actually pretty good, so shouldn’t we give this guy more time to

work and get his product out there? We think that despite his most recent

flops, his first three major motion pictures are solid enough to grant him a

stay of execution. Err, we mean, we’re looking for a dismissal. Oh, and can we agree that The Happening is one of the best bad movies ever? If that was his intention, he totally succeeded. And that counts for something.

IN

CLOSING…

So, what’s to be done with M. Night Shyamalan? Is his guilt

a long time coming? Should we give him more time to turn things around?

And the

most important question to be asked, once all evidence is taken into

consideration, we ask

you The Jury, is M. Night Shyamalan GUILTY or NOT GUILTY? Let’s

hear YOUR

arguments, either side, by STRIKING BACK BELOW.

*The court recognizes that all movies are subjective, so

relax.

WHAT SAY YOU,

GUILTY OR

NOT?

LAST WEEK’S

VERDICT

It is the jury’s decision that after reviewing

last week’s evidence, the court finds Hilary Swank

NOT GUILTY of all charges. We’re two for three when it comes to

Academy Award winning actresses walking the Not Guilty path of righteousness,

but are there any other Academy Award winning actresses who should be thrown

on the chopping block?

PREVIOUS

VERDICTS

GUILTY NOT

GUILTY


Adam

Sandler

Eddie

Murphy

Vince

Vaughn

Tim

Burton

The Farrelly

Brothers

Michael

Bay

Jessica

Alba

Ice

Cube

Gerard

Butler

Halle

Berry

Marlon

Wayans

Julia

Roberts

Robert De

Niro

Val

Kilmer

Nic

Cage

John

Travolta

Oliver

Stone

Ben

Stiller

Jim

Carrey

Wes

Craven

Matthew

McConaughey

Robert

Rodriguez

Kristen

Stewart

Roland

Emmerich

Kevin

Costner

Sandra

Bullock

Hilary

Swank

Read more...
Share
Published by
Johnny Moreno