To watch the trailers and commercials for MACHETE, you wouldn’t even know Lindsay Lohan is in the thing. Understandable, given she’s box office poison and most of the world looks at with a mixture of depression and disgust. But she is in this f*cker, and we’ve got the proof right here!
Obviously, Lindsay is in “character” here as April Benz, the daughter of Jeff Fahey’s Michael Benz. I don’t know about you, but the image of Lindsay slumped down in the car seat is pretty much how I imagine her looking every day… Well, those days when she’s not in a jail cell or gardening in a rehab center’s backyard or strolling the sidewalks looking for cheap drugs. (Am I being too harsh on ol’ Lindsay here?)
In any event, I’m pretty pumped for MACHETE, which hits theaters on SEPTEMBER 3rd. I wonder if it will suffer the same box office fate as GRINDHOUSE…
Machete (Danny Trejo) is a renegade former Mexican Federale, roaming the streets of Texas after a shakedown from drug lord Torrez (Steven Seagal). Reluctantly, Machete takes an offer from spin doctor Benz (Jeff Fahey) to assassinate McLaughlin (Robert DeNiro) a corrupt Senator. Double-crossed and on the run, Machete braves the odds with the help of Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), a saucy taco slinger, Padre (Cheech Marin), his “holy” brother, and April (Lindsay Lohan), a socialite with a penchant for guns. All while being tracked by Sartana (Jessica Alba), a sexy ICE agent with a special interest in the blade slinger.