AMERICAN NINJA 2: THE CONFRONTATION (1987)
Rating: 2.5 out of 4 /Buy the DVD Here
Tagline: The ultimate American fighting machine is back!
Directed by Sam Firstenberg
Starring: Michael Dudikoff, Steve James, Jeff Celentano, Larry Poindexter.
THE PLAN:A madman who calls himself “The Lion” is building an army of genetically-engineered ninjas on a Caribbean island (so he can take over the world, natch) where a couple of Red-Blooded American Army Rangers are on assignment. Who’re you betting on, the evil bastards with the accents, or the good old boys? Yep, it’s another 80s action flick that’s going to kick some foreign ass!
THE KILL:As a short preface, I should note that I have never seen the first AMERICAN NINJA, or any of the three sequels that follow Part 2 (yeah, I only just discovered there’s a 4 and 5, too). Yet I chose AMERICAN NINJA 2 for my new REEL ACTION – why? Frankly, because it’s one of those childhood memory things, this being a flick I was fond of when I was about 11 or 12. Sometimes I like to gamble with my RA’s, committing to write-up movies I’ve never seen or only have vague recollections of… Turns out my AMERICAN NINJA 2: THE CONFRONTATION memories were as vague as they get.
What I remembered most was the set-up: a beautiful tropical island (actually South Africa) is the scene of a few Marines getting kidnapped, which leads to the arrival of Rangers Joe (Dudikoff) and Jackson (Steve James). Joe’s the strong, silent type of course, while Jackson is his loud, boisterous buddy (he’s also black, another “must” in the 80s action/buddy-movie handbook). They’re not on the island locale for 10 minutes before they’re a) belittled multiple times by the obnoxious Marines they’re supposed to be helping, and b) ambushed by swarms of ninjas.
Hiiiyah, bitch!
Luckily, these are some bush-league ninjas (they have a bad habit of announcing their every attack with a loud yell), and Joe and Jackson handle them with ease time after time. Both Rangers love, and I mean LOVE, breaking arms. Seriously, they must crack about 30 different elbows the wrong way in this flick. (Not enough to knock a dude down, you’ve got to f*ck up his jackin-off arm too?) When the boys aren’t snapping limbs, they’re performing some other of their signature moves, namely, flipping guys over, and throwing guys into piles of other guys. Yeah, they mean business… It’s any wonder that the ninjas are actually genetically-altered supermen!
He just makes it look so easy…
That’s right, in the last act, this movie decides to get a little bizarro and explain to us that a megalomaniac has taken a scientist hostage and is using him to create an army of assassins, which makes it even more strange that these ninjas suck so much at their job. Nevermind – maybe it’s just that Joe is such a badass that he makes them look just plain f*ckin terrible in comparison.
Like the movie itself, Dudikoff is serviceable as the hero. Obviously he was being positioned as the next Chuck Norris, but doesn’t have that man’s swagger (or killer ‘stache). He’s makes it work, but it isn’t surprising that he never took off. His partner in crime provides all of the charisma – James is funny and energetic compared to the Dudikoff’s stoicism. The villains are barely noticeable. “The Lion” is hardly even in the flick, and he’s not the truly hateful baddie a movie like this needs. His right hand man is the uber-ninja, but even he comes up short in the “hissable” department. They’re just kind’ve “there”.
But how will they know I’m Michael Dudikoff under this??
But look, the movie is fun. It’s that special breed of 80s action movie, the kind that is firmly dedicated to cheap but adequate fights and explosions. Indeed it comes from “Golan Globus,” a company that once dominated the market with just this type of flick (they made most of the Charles Bronson and Chuck Norris 80s films). This isn’t intense, edge-of-your-seat stuff, this is that kick back, drink a sixer, laugh with your pals sort of thing. I simply can’t help but have affection for these movies, and I’m guessing the same goes for you too (unless you’re a dirty Commie).
(Final Note: I’m not quite sure which “Confrontation” the title is referring to. There’s about 800 different confrontations in this film.)
TOP DEATH: Usually, nothing beats a throwing-star to the skull. That’s the case in this flick, where most demises are fairly cheap. The throwing-star bit is always welcome though.
TOP ACTION: A beach “confrontation” with a horde of ninjas is entertaining, if only because of how damn easy it is for the Dudikoff to whip their asses silly.
FEMALE EXPLOITATION: Sparse-to-non-existent. Actually, I suggest you hold an issue of Maxim in your lap while viewing this, just for quick peeks.
HOMOEROTIC MOMENT: There’s a whole lotta man-love going on between Joe and Jackson, the latter of which can hardly keep his shirt on. Quite Literally.
TOP DIALOGUE: Wild Bill: “I mean, what is this?! Ninjas, drug pushers, my men being kidnapped and murdered… This is really beginning to get on my tits!”
DRINKING GAME: If you want to be a madman about it, toss one back every time a ninja does something incompetent. You’ll be kickboxing your own mirror in no time!
TRIVIA: Director Sam Firstenberg had previously directed the immortal BREAKIN’ 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO
Michael Dudikoff hasn’t starred in a movie since 2002. Where have you gone, Dudikooooff?!?!