We got word from today announcing a date change for the Sarah Michelle Gellar vehicle THE RETURN. It’s been pushed up from November 17th to November 10th. Not super exciting news, but it gives me an excuse to chat about the trailer for it that dropped in front of this weekend.
I have to say that even though it was a little -ish looking, the trailer really had some intensity to it and almost made me forget why I expect it to be a big steaming pile of shite – namely the PG-13 rating.
Now I’ve struggled with the issue of why PG-13 horror seems to suck so bad, especially since so many of the marketing campaigns make these crap movies look really promising. I think I’ve finally figured it out.
The simple fact is that anyone setting out to make a PG-13 rated horror movie just doesn’t have their heart in the right place. Horror is inherently adult subject matter, and trying to aim for a teen audience ignores that reality. Those PG-13 studio flicks are like a great looking girl who’s willing to f*ck you, but isn’t into it. Wouldn’t you rather get a hot night of crazy freak sex from a less attractive woman? I sure would.
So each time you feel yourself weakening in your resolve to avoid flicks that you are going to disappoint, just remind yourself that once you get in the dark with ’em, all those thoughts of oral sex and rimjobs best go out the window because baby is just gonna lie there…metaphorically speaking.
Anyway, the new release date for THE RETURN is November 10th.