Let’s talk about breasts, baby! Big, beautiful, bouncing breasts. The kind of gratuitous flesh-peddling that our beloved genre often offers to distract us from substandard fare. It’s sort of an unspoken deal between filmmakers and fans – shovel us crap if you must, but have the decency to serve it with boobs.
The thing is though, with so much disposable nudity to choose from, how do you put together a Top 10? It’s not enough to simply feature a hot chick with a fantastic rack. I can find that on the internet in 2 seconds. In fact, I can have that delivered to my house or hotel room in under 30 minutes around most metropolitan areas.
So like the quest for the Holy Grail these choices must be pure. Only the sickest, most twisted, super freak kinda boobage gets to enter THIS list amigos! And while I’ve got a whole slew of tasty treats lined up for ya, don’t be shy about throwing in your two cents by spitting some bullets below. This is a subject near and dear to all of our hearts (literally in the case of the ladies) so speak up. Now let’s get it on!
Natasha Henstridge’s body? Simply outstanding, and she shows it off a lot. Her clothes drop faster than the mouths of every dude wanting to tap that space ass. Plus we’re kinda rooting for her, especially when she chews up dickhead would-be date rapists like yesterday’s donuts. The best scene is when Alfred Molina finally shoots a baby into her, simultaneously becoming the luckiest, and unluckiest guy on the planet.
A genre flick with Shannon Elizabeth where she doesn’t get naked should be bad news. Certainly the film mostly sucks, but there is that Angry Princess. Cut up, pissed off, and sexy as hell. That ghostly hottie makes the Suicide Girls look like a Brownie troop.
Just ’cause we’re talking tit shots doesn’t mean there has to be nudity. When Sigourney Weaver stepped out in a sheer white tee and tiny panties, a nation of erections arose, even knowing a slimy acid bleeding monster was lurking about. The plain casualness of her outfit belies the insanity of what has happened in the movie, and what is about to occur. Brilliant, sexy, awesome!
It’s tough when you’re dealing with a franchise to pick one scene as there are so many to choose from, but JASON X solved that conundrum for us when a holodeck became a lure for good ‘ole Jason Voorhees. Both he and the audience get to enjoy two nubile, pot-smoking teens as they strip down, and then hop into sleeping bags to set up an homage to one of the series great kills. Great idea that was executed flawlessly. A classic for fans.
Yes, Sil gets naked a lot in SPECIES, but nobody has ever come close to the unrelenting, unobstructed nudity that Mathilda May presents us with as Space Girl. Front to back, start to finish, this chick is nekkid. Hot and nekkid. Plus she keeps sucking the life out of people, leaving desiccated wrecks in her wake, and she’s still hot! That, my friends, is a woman!
