Snoop Dogg's Hood of Horror (2006)
Director: Stacy Title
Hip Hop star, professional weed toker and hoe nailer Snoop Dogg maestros three tales of urban horror for our puffing pleasure. â€śThrow them in the airâ€ť!
â€śSpark the, chronic bud real quick and let me get into some fly gangsta shit!â€ť Being that
Snoop Dogg is pretty much the only rapper I groove to and that I appreciated his first foray into our beloved genre with
â€śBonesâ€ť, I went to see Hood of Horror, hoping for more macabre Snoop loving. I got it and I didnâ€™t. Amidst this world of blunts, 40â€™s, ghouls, gore and bitches, I held on to Snoop for dear entertainment as they thankfully let Snoop be Snoop. Nobody in the Hip Hop world has his charisma or talks hood as smooth as he does (in my opinion of course). Snoop was simply a riot
as the host with the most, he couldâ€™ve been MC-ing a bake-off and it wouldâ€™ve made for a mucho fun watch.
Another potent spice found in this doobie was the over the top and unapologetic gore gags. You ever see a guy get a 40 (big bottle of piss beer that ganstaz drink) slammed under oneâ€™s chin to then burst out the top of his cranium? You will here! Thatâ€™s what I call, getting hammered! The random humorous lines also waxed my pole (with â€śI even pissed on herâ€ť being my fav), the cameo heavy cast brought a grin to my face (was that George Costanza and Lando Calrissian? YOU BET) and the trip out, kinetic, origin anime that opened the film totally blew my mind. The latter was all about slickness, mushy gore and audio/visual impact. AWESOME!
Sadly at the halfway mark, this puppy had me groaning like a man passing a kidney stone. The first story (of a hood girl, nixing out hood boys) did it right, simple, swift and to the point. Sadly the second one (of a trashy white couple pit against black war vets within a house) was way too talkie for my liking. Yap yap yap! WHO CARES!
Thank god Anson Mount (Tex Jr) was a hoot to watch as the Southern white trash villain!
He made it happen! As for the third tale, it was simply badly written and fairly lifeless. Think watching paint
dry...white paint! Who wants to see a crooked rapper being guilt tripped by Lin Shaye (great
gal though) for 20 minutes? Not my bag!
I don't get it...the film was obviously low budget (with shit sets), sported amateur acting and was directed in a slap dash manner (slick editing though). They even had to re-use footage in the end (as a Snoop music video) to make their running time. So why oh motherf*cking why did they get all talkie, pseudo dramatic on my ass! There was not an inch of room for that jive in this type of flick! Slap in the gore and the naked dames (where were they at BTW)! Itâ€™s that kind of movie! The last thing you wanna feel while watching a shameless, trashy, scare-less and cheap exploitation genre flick is boredom. And I got a bad case of it.
Hood of Horror couldâ€™ve been a great tits & gore party horror flick; it had Snoop, slick anime stuff, meaty red grub and a swell initial tale. But as the clock rapped forward it gradually dwindled amusement wise and by the end, I OD-ed on yawns! Back to â€śBonesâ€ť I go!
This Tampax was messy! We get a â€ś40â€ť through the skull, knives in the eyes, ripped throat, legs cut off, balls blown off, a blown up belly, spike in throat, a chiwawa blown to bits (NICE!) and more! All communicated in red-wet and graphic glory.
Snoop Dogg was Snoop Dogg. Smooth as silk and funny as shit. The underrated Ernie Hudson (Roscoe) was solid as usual. Daniella Alonso (Posie) let het good looks and tears in a bottle do the acting. Danny Trejo (Derelict) had fun with the role while Pooch Hall (Sod) was on on the ball half the time and too over the top the other half. Brande Roderick (Tiffany)was not only drop dead gorgeous but also very funny as the trashy belle with a heart of stone. She worked! Anson Mount (Tex Jr) had fun with his role and Lin Shaye (Clara) was easily the best actress of the lot; not much of a part though.
T & A
We get one â€ścleanâ€ť pair of tits! Thatâ€™s it? Snoop? What gives man? A film of this ilk needed minimum 3 tit shotsâ€¦MINIMUM! Shame on you!
Wide shot, medium shot, wide shot, medium shot with occasional LSD editing being applied to spruce shit up. Basic. The anime sequence on the other toke; style galore! WOW!
We mostly get hip-hop with Snoop spitting some fine rhymes now and again.
It gets a 2 star rating instead of a 1 Â˝ cause you just canâ€™t go wrong with Dogg in my book! Hood of Horror was Troma meets Snoop d-o-double-g but with MUCH LESS nudity and a last hour that either talked me to death or tired me via blah writing and crap â€śdramaâ€ť. The cameos were fun, the gore deliciously out there (highlight of the film) and the bottom of the barrel humor at times gnarly, but when the end credits started to roll, I sprinted out of the theatre, faster than you can say Dr. Dre. Spank the bong silly before wrestling this one; it might make it easier to digest.
Stacy Title also helmed the amusing The Last Supper.