Look, yesterday I reported that there was on the horizon, some film called WAR MONKEYS, and based on the premise alone I heralded it as possibly the greatest movie ever. But today’s news just pushes it out of the stratosphere of what I consider to be legal cinematic quality. This thing is something else now. Sammo Hung is in negotiations to star. Sammo Freaking Hung. When reached for a comment, the entire population of the world said “holy shit I think I might cum”. I swear if they could somehow figure out a way to write Tommy the Green Power Ranger and his awesome dagger-flute into this thing and then flux capacitate the movie back ten years this thing would have actually made 13 year old me cry pure tears of joy.
The horror comedy follows two janitors who, during a Christmas holiday, get trapped in an underground research facility after accidentally unleashing military-trained Rhesus monkeys. Hung is one of the janitors who battles the rabid simians. Dark Horse Indpendent recently celebrated an Emmy win for its blah blah blah freaking monkeys with guns, dude, what the hell.
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