Trailer for Bruce Koehler’s creature feature River of Darkness!

By Jake Dee

Posted 16 years ago

Last Updated on July 23, 2021

Cinco de Mayo marked our last scrawling about RIVER OF DARKNESS, a thoroughly uninspired looking creature feature from writer/director Bruce Koehler. I mean, when your three main leads are known for hamming it up in the theatrical world of professional wrestling…what the hell do you expect?!?

But to be fair, the trailer is actually better than expected, whatever that says. We joked when the first official poster for the film crossed the wire, so I was ready to pan the trailer as utter bilge. Is it utter bilge? Take a look below and make the call yourself!

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Starring Kurt Angle, Kevin Nash (The Diesel), “Psycho” Syd Vicious, S. William Hinzman, Bill Laing, Alan Rowe Kelly, Bingo O’Malley, Clayton Hill and Sharon Ceccatti – RIVER OF DARKNESS picks up:

When unspeakable evil falls on a quiet river town, and Sheriff Logan is thrust into a chilling nightmare of death and mayhem. He is confronted with a series of horrific murders, each more viscous than the last, and soon learns of the community’s seedy past and the evil that has risen from purgatory to exact revenge on the town. When Sheriff Logan discovers that the murders are committed by the spirits of old river squatters, the Jacobs Boys, the town explodes into an battlefield of blazing guns and zombies.

Once The Jacobs Boys exact their punishing vengeance on the town it’s up to Sheriff Logan to unravel the shocking mystery of the past and slam the Boys back to hell.

RIVER OF DARKNESS looks to enjoy a limited release sometime later this year.

Source: North Shore Pictures

About the Author

Jake Dee

Columnist / Reviewer

5,418 Articles Published

Favorite Movies: Horror: Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974), Silence of the Lambs, Jaws, Black read more Christmas (1974), Friday the 13th (1980), Return of the Living Dead, Halloween (1978), Last House on the Left (1973), way too many to list (in the horror genre alone, not to mention out of genre film) Non-Horror: Stand By Me, Lonely Are the Brave, Lost in Translation, Rushmore, Blue Velvet, The Elephant Man, Sling Blade, The Usual Suspects, Reservoir Dogs, Caddyshack, Stripes, Ghostbusters, One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest, Harold and Maude, The Treasure of Sierra Madre, There Will Be Blood, Boogie Nights, Fargo, No Country for Old Men, The Big Lebowski, and on and on and on and mothafu*kin on

Likes: Film, Books, Words, Writing, Rhyming, Football (49ers, Lions), Basketball, Wiffle ball, read more Womens Gymnastics, Movies, Music, Underground hip-hop, Reggae, 50s and 60s R&B, Cinema, Alcohol (vodka, rum, whiskey will do), Beer, John Madden football, Scrabble, Clue, Crossword Puzzles and Word Searches, Horror flicks, Saved by the Bell, Married With Children, Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Entourage, Tales from the Crypt, Motion Pictures, Michelle Pfeiffer, Paul Newman, Jack Nicholson, Ellen Burstyn, Scorsese, the Brothers Coen, Mexican Food, Italian Food, Cats, The Color Green, The Beach.

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