Two more laughable character posters for Twilight: Eclipse

By Jake Dee

Posted 16 years ago

Last Updated on July 23, 2021

Lord help us.

I know many believe David Slade’s attempt at ushering in droves of wan, teenage malcontents may be the darkest entry of THE TWILIGHT SAGA yet, but if these two new character posters from ECLIPSE are any indication…this flick may suck more rectum than a human centipede.

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The first poster below shows The Volturi, a foursome no more threatening than a Jonas Brothers concert. I mean, c’mon…nothing spells terror like a purple turtleneck and David Cassidy bowl-cut!

The second poster gives us a glimpse at a character called Riley (played by Xavier Samuel), as he wades out of a body of water, clearly upset his designer belt buckle may endure an onslaught of rust.

What do you guys think about the new banners? I’m I being too hard, or is it as clear to you as it is to me that Dakota Fanning looks the most menacing of all. Dakota F*CKIN’ Fanning!

In theaters June 30th, TWILIGHT: ECLIPSE finds Bella (Stewart) once again surrounded by danger as Seattle is ravaged by a string of mysterious killings and a malicious vampire continues her quest for revenge. In the midst of it all, she is forced to choose between her love for Edward (Pattinson) and her friendship with Jacob (Lautner) — knowing that her decision has the potential to ignite the struggle between vampire and werewolf. With her graduation quickly approaching, Bella is confronted with the most important decision of her life.

Source: Summit Entertainment

About the Author

Jake Dee

Columnist / Reviewer

5,418 Articles Published

Favorite Movies: Horror: Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974), Silence of the Lambs, Jaws, Black read more Christmas (1974), Friday the 13th (1980), Return of the Living Dead, Halloween (1978), Last House on the Left (1973), way too many to list (in the horror genre alone, not to mention out of genre film) Non-Horror: Stand By Me, Lonely Are the Brave, Lost in Translation, Rushmore, Blue Velvet, The Elephant Man, Sling Blade, The Usual Suspects, Reservoir Dogs, Caddyshack, Stripes, Ghostbusters, One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest, Harold and Maude, The Treasure of Sierra Madre, There Will Be Blood, Boogie Nights, Fargo, No Country for Old Men, The Big Lebowski, and on and on and on and mothafu*kin on

Likes: Film, Books, Words, Writing, Rhyming, Football (49ers, Lions), Basketball, Wiffle ball, read more Womens Gymnastics, Movies, Music, Underground hip-hop, Reggae, 50s and 60s R&B, Cinema, Alcohol (vodka, rum, whiskey will do), Beer, John Madden football, Scrabble, Clue, Crossword Puzzles and Word Searches, Horror flicks, Saved by the Bell, Married With Children, Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Entourage, Tales from the Crypt, Motion Pictures, Michelle Pfeiffer, Paul Newman, Jack Nicholson, Ellen Burstyn, Scorsese, the Brothers Coen, Mexican Food, Italian Food, Cats, The Color Green, The Beach.

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