New G.I. JOE pics!
I know it looks goofy, I know it looks nutty, I know it looks like Michael Bay made it while blindfolded… BUt I don’t care, because I think G.I. JOE looks like a blast. Not necessarily a blast in the “Oh f*ck, that’s going to be epic!” sense, but more along the lines of “I can’t wait to drink about a dozen beers before seeing this shit, then drinking over a dozen more afterward!” Because that’s Stephen Sommers for you. I know, he’s fallen on hard times (I have no love for VAN HELSING of THE MUMMY RETURNS), but I cannot ignore the man who made DEEP RISING and THE MUMMY – two of my favorite popcorn flicks from the 90s. Maybe JOE will suck ass, maybe I’ll groan my way through it… but I’m guessing it’ll be a fun time either way. Besides – it’s got f*ckin’ ninjas!
Anyhow, we’ve found some new pictures from the flick, not the least of which features the sizzling Sienna Miller as the hottie
badass The Baroness. Sweet baby Jesus, all she needs is a whip and a bottle of
Absinthe and she’s basically what I dream about every night…
A chat with DOLPH!
In the last edition of ROUND UP, we gave you a small snippet from a gab-session between our very own Jimmy O. and a man named DOLPH! And I think you know who I’m talking about. (If you know more than one Dolph, you’re a luckier person than I!)
If you head on over to our DVD Clinic, you can read the whole conversation. But in the name of enticing your fine ass, here’s another sample:
As a director, do you prefer the freedom that comes with it? Is it a more satisfying experience in some ways? Or do you prefer just coming in as an actor.
Dolph: Well, I work well with both of them. For instance, with THE EXPENDABLES, I have Sly directing and he is very experienced and he painted a really good character for me and I get a lot of support from this big crew. There is a world class fight coordinator, you know, and he and Stallone know each other and he likes me. He gives me extra help and advice so you have a little more time to perfect your character moments. Because when you direct, you’re more about the film and you sort of shortchange your own acting because you are more involved with everybody else.
Capt. Kirk is UNSTOPPABLE
So I’m no clairvoyant or mystic or anything, but I’m guessing it’s a good time to be Chris Pine. The man recently made us actually happy that a new Captain Kirk is in town. Who thought that was possible? I was all ready to hate this mofo, but there’s no denying he etches his legacy somewhere between STAR TREK’s barfight and the scene where he’s about ready to go down on a green alien chick.
Pine is putting his newfound stardom to a real test by grabbing the co-lead in a major action flick from director Tony Scott called UNSTOPPABLE. Pine will find himself sharing the screen with none other than Denzel Washington – because Scott and Washington haven’t made enough f*ckin’ movies together…
UNSTOPPABLE is about two train conductors, one a vet, one a newbie, who find themselves in a race against time to stop an unmanned, half-mile-long freight train carrying enough combustible liquids and poisonous gas to wipe out a nearby city. So RUNAWAY TRAIN meets… RUNAWAY TRAIN. Well, guess it remains to be seen how cool it will end up being. Also depends on which Tony Scott shows up to direct it. Good Tony Scott (TRUE ROMANCE, CRIMSON TIDE)? Or Meh Tony Scott (DEJA VU, DOMINO… Maybe PELHAM 1, 2, 3)?
MACHETE script review!
Our good friend Bob from CC2K sent us a heads-up about a script they recently reviewed over at their site. A script called MACHETE. If you don’t know what MACHETE is, then, well, f*ck you. But most likely, you do know that MACHETE is the proposed feature film version of Robert Rodriguez’s fake-trailer from GRINDHOUSE, and it’s something I definitely hope comes to fruition. That along with the possibility of THANKSGIVING getting made makes me a happy – dirty – boy.
As for the plot, sounds like it goes somethin’ like this: Machete is definitely the hero of this movie, and he seems to be a hero especially tailored for Latin American viewers. The villain of the story is a corrupt Texas politician who is primarily interested in what drives all corrupt politicians (gaining and maintaining a position of power), but to do so he allies himself with an extreme Right-wing group of militia types who ascribe to the “shoot on sight” school of thought when it comes to dealing with illegal immigrants attempting to cross the Mexican-American border. Machete serves as both protector of and champion for this downtrodden group.
Grainy footage of Machete slaughtering people gruesomely is sure to ensue. Like I said, a happy, dirty boy…
MACHETE OWNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
KILL YA NEXT WEEK WITH MORE
ACTION!
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