AwesomeZara

72 Articles Published

Favorite Movies: The Fisher King, Clerks, Mallrats, Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Say Anything, read more Secretary, The Doom Generation, Punch Drunk Love, Dazed & Confused, The Spirit of '76, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, The Good Girl, Serenity, The Goonies, Encino Man, Gone With the Wind, Barbarella and anything else that will make me look uber-cool in the eyes of JoBlo.com readers

Likes: Cheering on the Ventura County Derby Darlin's with my 9 year read more old future roller derby jammer, spending more money outfitting my Sims than I do myself, scavenging through the dollar bins trying to find my favorite discarded hair metal bands on CD and telling my baby sister that she smells like poo. Oh, and watching movies.

The Bottom Shelf #136

Posted 18 years ago

Santa, the time is soon approaching. While I know that you’re no Hiro and you can’t bend space and time, I still think it would be dandy if you could find a way to bring these two men to my...

The Bottom Shelf #135

Posted 18 years ago

It’s the time for thanks. This year, I’m thankful that I’m going to be eating the insides of some poor, dumb-f*ck animal rather than waking up to discover a part of myself missing. SYMPATHY FOR MR. VENGEANCE (2002) Directed by:...

The Bottom Shelf #134

Posted 18 years ago

I’ve always wondered why the movies were so obsessed with bank robberies. I’m even more curious as to why people think that they can get away with them in this day and technologically advanced age. But even more than both...

The Bottom Shelf #133

Posted 18 years ago

Grief and MILFs. They go hand in hand more frequently than topless chicks in B-horror flicks. I’m still trying to figure out which is the better combo. MOONLIGHT MILE (2002) Directed by: Brad Silberling Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Susan Sarandon —...

The Bottom Shelf #132

Posted 18 years ago

Somehow I can’t imagine looking back in 25 years time and seeing YOU, ME AND DUPREE as being a good movie, but what daughter can’t pull off, mother excels at. Goldie Hawn was the shit back in the day. Start...

The Bottom Shelf #131

Posted 18 years ago

When Halloween rolls around, most people round up the kiddies for some confectionary begging or turn off all the lights, pop in a DVD and pretend they’re not home in order to avoid the invasion. Chances are, the movie that...

The Bottom Shelf #130

Posted 18 years ago

Kids these days don’t dress up in the standard Halloween fare. You won’t see any demons or vampires wandering the streets begging for confections, but there will be Hannah Montanas, Bratz geisha sluts and Optimus Primes. So get your ghoulies...

The Bottom Shelf #129

Posted 18 years ago

I always used to laugh at those idiots on Maury who would be afraid of simple shit like buttons or used tissue. But simple shit is what seems to make horror movies work. Well, horror movies that turn out to...

The Bottom Shelf #128

Posted 18 years ago

Much like the retail stores, I’ve been hitting the Halloween trail early. I’ve gorged myself on blood, guts, gore and camp. I’ve also discovered that some of the most entertaining stuff isn’t what money can buy. Proof positive: Ariauna Albright,...

The Bottom Shelf #127

Posted 19 years ago

This has been a banner year in the old Awesome house, what with the two titles at the top of my “Hurry Up and Release It on DVD” list getting put out within weeks of each other. If you haven’t...

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