Breakfast of Champions

Used car salesman extraordinaire Dwayne Hoover loses his identity in the midst of a massive mid-life crisis which leads him to cheat on his wife, whose hooked on pills, attempt to kill himself every other day, and seek out the answer to the questions in his mind. Very few answers follow.

Bubble, pill, bubble, pill, bubble. Exit 11, take a left please. This film is based on the apparent “unfilmable” novel written by one Kurt Vonnegut Jr. Much like last year’s unfilmable film FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS (7/10), it offers much style and esoteric gobbledygook in a narrative which cannot be described as anything more (or less) than incomprehensible. The ladieswear department is down by the last aisle, sir. I personally enjoyed the film on the level in which it was obviously meant to be taken…a spiritually enlightening chemically-induced psychedelic soul searching vehicle, in which many people seem to float through the floors, see images of paradise reflecting from the mirrors, death looming, and bubble with overly fake enthusiasm/depression. You can call me Bunny, dad. Strobe, strobe. Don’t call me Dwayne, it’s Wayne, Wayne Hoobler…like Dwayne Hoover, you know! Crying won’t help, but an apparent big dick and sex with the secretary f**k machine will? Good soundtrack. The answer for Hoover obviously lies within life itself. Spiraling lights and a nice, olived martini. Take two!

The actors were all very good in this film, with Bruce Willis standing out in another very different role for him. He plays this cartoon character very well and never draws his colors outside of the idiosyncratic line born to be this person. Dwayne Hoover~?! Is that you~?!! Why don’t you just come out and say it, “I wear women’s clothing and I like it!”. Nick Nolte is awesome! His role in this film rivals any in his career! Expect Mr. Nolte to walk away with many more high award recognitions this year. Best worst part. And no more goodbye to Blue Mondays after this movie, that’s for sure. Hardy-har-har, Mr. Trout! If that’s your “real name” . I also enjoyed the style of the film which was basically its only actual film component, seeing that the substance was only to be discovered through two highly enriched characters named Mary Jane and Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. Thirty-six bucks for a car?! You got it!

I personally will be adding this film to my collection of “high” level quality productions which one could only truly appreciate when-is that BIRDSH*T on my car?!! All in all, I would say that I had quite a few laughs, no serious moments whatsoever, passed the two hour runtime like it was a five-minute trip through the dentist’s waiting room (Top floor, of course), and appreciated the cooky-wooky soundtrack. Last stop in Brownsville. I love you and life should be lived while attending life! Please remove your seatbelts on your way out and make sure to move your hands away from the aisles. This review has now ended. Thank you for flying in our friendly high skies. Please check the rating on your way out.

(7/10) –> If you actually understood and appreciated aspects of this review and enjoy puzzles.

(4/10) –> If you didn’t understand and DO NOT WANT TO understand any aspect of this review, and do not like puzzles. If you didn’t understand and DO NOT WANT TO understand any aspect of this review, and do not like puzzles.

(c) 2021 Berge Garabedian