Diaper up! The Rise of Skywalker is the longest Star Wars film yet

By Steve Seigh

Posted 6 years ago

Last Updated on July 30, 2021

In the immortal words of Terry Crews' Sgt. Terry Jeffords of BROOKLYN NINE-NINE, "diaper up!" It's been revealed that J.J. Abrams' STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER clocks in at an astounding 155 minutes! That's two hours and thirty-five minutes of intense, interstellar action, Kylo Ren's broodtastic Dark Side tantrums, and closure to one of the greatest sci-fi sagas of all time. The runtime for the latest chapter of Star Wars shenanigans was unveiled courtesy of AMC Theaters, who upon releasing tickets to one of the biggest movie events of the year, cited the film's official length. As your attorney I advice you to plan your bathroom breaks accordingly. Perhaps you should even take a note from Lisa Nowak, the American engineer, naval flight officer and NASA astronaut, who on February 5, 2007, wore maximum-absorption garments—government-issued astronaut diapers—during her 950-mile drive from Houston to Orlando to confront her former lover’s girlfriend, Colleen Shipman, a U.S. Air Force engineer.

You think that's funny, huh? You won't be laughing when your bladder starts screaming during an exciting lightsaber battle, or quite possibly the moment in which Rey's true lineage is exposed.

About the Author

Steve Seigh

News Editor / Columnist

10,179 Articles Published

Favorite Movies: Death to Smoochy, The Big Lebowski, Fear and Loathing in Las read more Vegas, The Crow, KPop Demon Hunters, The Sword in the Stone, Spirited Away, The Fisher King, The Shining, Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, The Burbs, The Babadook, Summer Wars, The Princess Bride, Mad Max: Fury Road, The Game, In the Mouth of Madness, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Monsters Inc., Amelie, The Crow, Fight Club, O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Likes: Getting lost in waves of sound while cocooned in a pair read more of serious headphones, comic book characters, film, and television, a delicious tumbler of whiskey, scientifically-inclined Canadians, wearing pajamas in public, pancakes, bacon, and long walks on the beach

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