Dr. Dolittle 2

This movie is about a doctor who can speak to animals. The rest of the plot is really inconsequential, but if you really want to know, it has something to do with this forest being torn down and the doctor trying to hook up these two bears in order to save it. Don’t ask.

I guess the original concept of animals talking to human beings could be interpreted as an idea ripe for humor, but is there any reason why the makers of this film decided to include every shit, piss, fart and burp joke in this one? Bah, I think that I’ve just about had my share of “gross humor” (I think SAY IT AIN’T SO was the last straw for me), and this film’s many potshots just didn’t cut it for me anymore (not to mention the fact that most of them were way “passé”…I mean, does anyone still think the “Whassuuuup? thing is funny?) Have screenwriters become so lazy that they can’t think of anything funnier than a bear sitting down on a toilet to take a dump? (actually, that does sound funny, but when you see it on the big screen, it just doesn’t click). I don’t know, maybe I’ve just become too cynical with the horde of crappy movies that I see every year, but whether or not it’s my cynicism at play or not, the bottom line with this film is that it’s just not that funny, with or without the poopie jokes. I mean, here’s a film that basically uses its so-called “funny” premise of animals talking and builds a completely uninteresting and generic story around it, tosses a zillion animal jokes out there and hopes that some of them stick. Unfortunately, the jokes in this movie are just not that funny, and since nothing else really matters in this kind of film (everything in the movie is built around these jokes), you basically just sit there and wait for it all to end.

And Eddie Murphy…aaah, Eddie Murphy, what can I say? I thought that BOWFINGER was a breakthrough point for him in this career, a point at which he woke up and realized that he still had some humor left in him, and not all related to talking animals or fat suits. Well, unfortunately the “Eddie Murphy” that we all know and love is nowhere to be found in this film. He plays a straight man here and for what it’s worth, he doesn’t even do that all that well. Every time the “real” Eddie tries to break free and shout or say something nutty, the more “mature and responsible” Eddie jumps out and straightens him out. Sigh, I miss the old Eddie…come back, dude! But forget him, what’s up with his daughter in this movie? Wow. Can you believe that’s the same girl who played little Olivia on “The Cosby Show” back in the 80s? Dang man, she be giving ol’ Lara Croft a run for her money…! But big boobs aside, this story is just super-lame, the whole build-up of troubles with his own wife is left out to dry, the forest looks exactly like a set on a studio lot and there just isn’t much humor overall (and sadly, too many caca jokes). The film’s only redeeming factors are two hilarious characters, who should be given films of their own: the first is the talking mafia raccoon, who delivers many of the film’s only laughs and the other is a talking Mexican chameleon, who also tosses a couple of solid one-liners out there. Mind you, if you have a problem with animals all being cast as major stereotypes from our own society, that may just be yet another issue that will irk you about this film.

Oh yeah, and I think that Arnold Schwarzenegger actually contributes a cameo voice to this movie, but being as his name was not in the credits, I’m not 100% sure on this (although he could have done it as uncredited thing or it’s just a dude who sounds exactly like him). Either way, the movie’s still lame for kids and adults alike.

(c) 2021 Berge Garabedian