Reviews & Counting
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Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance(2012)
Written by: The Arrow
Director: Mark Neveldine
Brian Taylor

Nicolas Cage/Ghost Rider
Violante Placido/Nadya
Ciarán Hinds/Roarke
Idris Elba/Moreau
4 10
Johnny Blaze aka The Rider (Nicolas Cage) is hiding out in Eastern Europe, trying to keep his Rider alter ego under the lid, but trouble finds him in the form of a brat (Fergus Riordan) that is linked with Old Scratch. So his head goes on fire and... not much happens...
Before I take a hot, fiery piss on Ghost Rider Spirit of Boredom; let me slap some cards on the table so you know where I'm coming from. 1- I like Nicolas Cage. I dig him when he's good (Bad Lieutenant, The Rock, Leaving Las Vegas) and at times when he's bad, he manages to be a lousy film's saving grace anyways (The Wicker Man remake would have been pretty boring without his scene chewing on hand). Bless him, his hair pieces and his out there personality/acting style! He makes Hollywood more interesting to this twat! In terms of the first Ghost Rider (2007) movie; I didn't hate it like the masses did; hey it was nothing great but I was entertained on some level; so i survived it. Finally I am an admirer of the Neveldine/Taylor directing combo; although their films have been uneven (they should work outside the Studio system; suits and their vibe don't match); they have a unique voice that is very “now” and I esteem that. All right done! Let me unzip my fly, it's gonna be a long one!

What the f*ck happened here? Like really...what happened? I wasn't expecting Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance to be a masterpiece or anything, but I was hoping to AT LEAST be amused and alas for my sorry ass that rarely happened (and I wasn't alone, 3 people walked out of my screening halfway in). First off the flat and talkie story did barely nothing for me. And the fact that the movie focused on it so much resulted in me often being bored to tears. Hey man I give a shit about all this yap-yap wrapped up in a copy/paste narrative structure that shat on the pacing of the movie. Is this Ghost Rider 2 or a Tupperware party? I wanna see Nick Cage go bonkers and witness The Rider f*ck people up. Not be talked to death about a non-plot plot that never grabbed me. Which brings me to the action...or lack of. You've seen the trailer, you've seen 80% of the physical get-downs that were in the house. Now I know they shot the thing with less money than the original (which is why they filmed in Romania and Turkey) but still! COME ON! Deliver the goods...AT LEAST!

Here the action scenes were either too swift, didn't capitalize on their groovy set ups, were too seldom or held back way too much for their own good. Don't know about you but for me gang of thugs + a peeved Ghost Rider should equal delicious and inventive chaos. The confrontations here weren't nearly as extensive, thrilling or extreme as I hoped they would have been. The PG 13 didn't help matters either. I fail to understand the point of having Neveldine/Taylor (two “out there” directors) helm this thing if they can't go buck nuts with it. What's the point? That's like asking John Woo to direct a flick with no guns in it. Extreme violence, edge, balls and gore could've helped liven this dud up.... big time! Lastly the effects were uneven and now and again it felt like I was watching a cheapo B movie. Hey I dig cheapo B films (big Cannon and Corman fan right here)... but not when they're supposed to be coin whoring blockbusters. This one reeked of: should have been straight to DVD!

Any upsides? Well my nachos were tasty, not enough cheese or salsa on the side though. What a sham, you pay 7 bucks for nachos and 5 chips in, salsa and cheese motherf*cking gone. Grrrrr. Oh yeah the movie! Well Neveldine/Taylor did get to shine now and as to their kinetic/whacky imagery by of way of the action bits, the flashbacks, the Rider “hero shots”, the campy nuggets and the dimension hopping ploy. NOTE: I dug the animated sequences as well, I thought they were a nice touch. Moreover, Nicolas Cage had his fair share of wild, crazy and giggling “Cage moments”, they're always smile inducing to me! Violante Placido was easy on the crotch, Idris Elba was a suave mofo, Ciarán Hinds wisely underplayed it and it was cool to see Christopher Lambert on the big screen again... with a sword in hand no less. I wish his role would have been bigger though. He was fairly wasted here. The flick also sported the random novel idea (the throwaway shot of The Rider pissing fire, or him spitting bullets back in a goon's face...gnarly), alas they were too few and far between and should have been in a better movie. NOTE 2: The Post Conversion 3D added nothing to my screening other than a more expensive ticket.

So! At the end of the ride; I can't say Ghost Rider 2 did much for me other than make me look at my wrist (I don't own a watch). In my useless opinion, it was too boring for kids and not cool or edgy enough for the adults... so who was it for? Stoners? They'll be asleep 15 minutes in, so again... who was it for? I DON'T KNOW! Big let down! The Rider is officially out of gas... till the reboot that is...
CG decaying and light blood. There was more gore on that tampon I found on my floor this morning than in this movie (women... pick your shit up f*ck)
T & A
Talk about a MAJOR LET DOWN! Bland story, choppy chain of events, cheap look, action scenes that were too seldom/short/safe, no gore, no edge, limp 3D...ummm... yeah! Ghost Rider Spirit of Garbage can suck my log! Yeah it had a good cast, Cage had his wild "Cagey" moments, the flick had the occasional good campy idea and the visual style was nifty in places. But that wasn't enough to save it from being a waste of my time. But hey that's just me! Who knows maybe you'll love the shit out of it! if ya do, all the power to ya! Let me put it this way! On a hangover Sunday, I can see myself watching the first Ghost Rider again to kill time if it's on TV. This sequel though, I will never clock it again. If it pops up on the tube, I'll change the channel quicker than you can spell "Eggo". Nough said!
The screenplay was written by Scott M. Gimple, Seth Hoffman and David S. Goyer from a story by Goyer.

The flick cost about $75,000,000 to make. Where did the money go?

The character of Danny Ketch (the kid in the movie) picked the Ghost Rider mantle in the comic.