Reviews & Counting
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The Moth Diaries(2012)
Written by: The Arrow
Director: Mary Harron

Lily Cole/Ernessa
Scott Speedman/Mr. Davies
Sarah Bolger/Rebecca
Sarah Gadon/Lucie
5 10
Teen chickadee (Sarah Bolger) hits an all-gals boarding school and gets to hang with her homegirl again (Sarah Gadon). But things get complicated when the new chick on the block (Lily Cole) shows up and comes between the two. Oh and she also may be a vampire, but that’s not like the movie gave a damn about that.
THE MOTH DIARIES (based on Rachel Klein’s book of the same name) had my number because it was director Mary Harron’s (I Shot Andy Warhol and The Notorious Bettie Page) return to the genre since her masterpiece American Psycho (2000). The trailer looked dope; the cast was tops and I was willing, ready, naked and able to sink my fangs into a modern piece of Gothic horror. Too bad that’s not what I got.

Now I’m not gonna bullshit ya, I didn’t give a tits ass about the teen girls insecurities, jealous fits and the lesbian undertones that came with it all of it. I just couldn’t relate to it (for obvious reasons) but more importantly, the film FAILED at making me care about it 100% cause of its one-dimensional characterization. With that, I gotta give credit where credit is due; the teen actresses here sold the underdeveloped drivel while the dynamic between them came off as way more genuine and true to real life than say what you see in the Twilight movies. Sarah Gadon had the looks and the chops for the part and English model/actress Lily Cole’s porcelain like doll look, Brit accent and perfect bod all chimed in to give me a bloodsucker to be reckoned with.

But truth be told, this was Sarah Bolger’s show. She kept me in the game via her grounded, intense and totally credible performance. With a lesser actress I would have been counting dead sheep in that theatre quicker than you can spell B-O-R-E. I had never heard of the lass before, but will keep tabs on her from now on. She’ll go places! Another of the film’s assets was its gloomy look. Cinematographer Declan Quinn, production designer Sylvain Gingras and Harron’s smooth camera moves all contributed in bringing on the dread! Oppressive interiors, lots of high angles, long shots and unnerving handheld work; this one was aces in terms of evoking an eerie, old fashioned, harsh and almost dream like vibe. Baby looked good! So what was the problem then? The story. Or lack of!

I didn’t get it. The narrative rushed through its first half in terms of the set up. I was like “calm down, let the story breathe, I got all day” and after all that urgency, I was brought to ZILCH. Themes of suicide, friendship and betrayal did surface, but the movie did next to nothing with them, content in going around in circles like a blind crack whore in a fishbowl. Same thing with the vampire angle. They establish… then…bla, bla, bla, then NATHING!. Hurry up and f*cking wait! Yup, the affair was way too vague for its own good, didn’t run (or walk for that matter) with anything it out on the table and totally ignored the basis of good storytelling in the process. The WHY behind it all was never addressed, the WHO in terms of our bad girl, fairly ignored, so all I was left with was JACK and his amigo SHIT to hold on to. Another peeve of mine: I freaking LOATHE it when a film is about something, and low and behold, it happens to be the subject they’re covering in class (I think I first saw that jive go down in the original A Nightmare on Elm Street).

Here, the movie was about a vampire and of course they’re studying, take a breath here, play with yourself… Dracula and Camilla! Please! I wish somebody would strike that frustrating gimmick out of the horror movie token recipe, it’s lame! Finally the subplot with the male teacher was pointless as to the rest of the story and also made me think three things: 1- No way they’d hire a hunk to be a teacher at an all girls school. They’re just asking for it! 2- What is the point of this subplot again? 3- Scott Speedman, you’re SO MUCH better than peddling your ass for throw away roles. Cash that check in better films bra! You should be starring in SPEED 3 or something….

So all in all; THE MOTH DIARIES was a let down. Sure the actresses were solid, the set-up enticing and it had a macabre cool look; but somebody forgot to tell the filmmakers that you actually have to do SOMETHING with a story idea for it to engage. See it on cable or better yet, skip it, cause you’re not missing much…
Some blood.
T & A
We get one tit (and what a tit it was) and some vague girl on girl shite.
You ever meet a hot chick (or dude if you play that game) in a bar, you buy her drinks, pretend to care about what she has to bark, you work her some more to FINALLY get her to your place, zipper down, for her to decide she just wants to "talk"? Well it’s happened to me twice in my life and now I can say thrice; cause THE MOTH DIARIES just did the same thing. It looked good, was well acted and had an initial premise with promise! But at the end of it; it decided to do ZERO with all of it. F*cking tease! A vampire movie that avoided being one, a teen drama that barely scratched the surface and a flick that rushed to then go nowhere slow. The point? I have no idea.
The flick was shot in my hometown of Montréal, Québec, Canada and Oka, Québec, Canada.

Sarah Bolger was born on February 28 1991 in Dublin, Ireland. Shit I feel old...

Lily Cole appeared nude in the UK Playboy and I thank her for it!