Last Updated on August 3, 2021
1. The Ghostbusters – GHOSTBUSTERS
The greatest foursome of all time (other than the 600 videos that popped up when searching for this topic) takes a backseat to nobody. Cherish them while you can people because this elite group will eventually be tarnished if the new sequel ever gets past the “it’s happening for sure” stage. Which, if there’s a Movie God. it won’t.
2. The Justice Quartet – TOMBSTONE (tie)
Yeah, I forgot about The Untouchables…. what of it? There’s no way I could put either of these groups of badasses ahead of another so I took the easy way out. If I ever had a sidekick to deliver justice with it would be either Jim Malone or Doc Holliday. And they wouldn’t die.
2. The Untouchables – THE UNTOUCHABLES (tie)
Yeah, I forgot about The Untouchables…. what of it? There’s no way I could put either of these groups of badasses ahead of another so I took the easy way out. If I ever had a sidekick to deliver justice with it would be either Jim Malone or Doc Holliday. And they wouldn’t die.
3. The Body Buddies – STAND BY ME
Tell me you didn’t gather up your buddies and go search for dead things the minute you got out of this theater when you were a kid. We found a recently deceased squirrel one time. Then Jack Bauer showed up and shot me in the arm. I was all… “What the fuck!?!” And then I woke up and cried.
4. Droogs – A CLOCKWORK ORANGE
I once had a buddy that did a butt-drop through the sunroof of my ex-girlfriends car for no other reason that we were all assholes. That’s my Clockwork Orange story. I tell it at Assholes Anonymous.
5. Half-Shelled Heroes – TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES
They were so different from the books they were based on it should have been outlawed, but somehow these cheesy bastards made a mark for themselves that will forever live on in pop culture. And they weren’t totally written off until they started hanging out with Vanilla Ice.
6. Pre-Fingerbang – SOUTH PARK: BIGGER, LONGER, & UNCUT
There are plenty of characters that have come and gone over the years to help South Park become the iconic franchise it is today but none are more important than these four little assholes. How is it there is only one South park movie? You bastards!!
7. The Channel 4 Action News Team – ANCHORMAN
I like to imagine this is the type of dudes my Dad hung out with when he wasn’t riding around on his Harley and stealing women from the villages he burnt down. A boy can dream. Whale’s vagina.
8. The Mallrats – DAWN OF THE DEAD
They cleared an entire shopping mall of the walking dead and then moved in like it was the world’s greatest loft. And one of them was pregnant! Sure, things didn’t end too well for them but it was great watching them define a genre in the process.
9. The A-Team – THE A-TEAM
I still say this movie was a lot more fun than it gets credit for. That has everything to do with the four leads. Give them a can of baked beans, a set of headphones, and six random pieces of scotch tape and they’ll build you a reason why you and your friends suck. And then kill you with it.
10. The Yellowbrick Four – THE WIZARD OF OZ
How fucking brave is Dorothy? Not only does she wake up in a strange fantasy ghetto and have to deal with evil witches and flying monkeys, she also decides to hang out with a talking lion, a living scarecrow, and a dude made of tin with an axe. Bitch has got balls of steel.
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