U-571

World War II is raging on when an American Navy crew is sent to overtake a stranded Nazi U-boat (aka nasty sub), stuck somewhere in the middle of the ocean. Their mission: to capture their unique decoding device.

A loud, fast-paced, simple story set within the always tense environment of a submarine, featuring a lot of repetitive “sub-talk”, great looking men in cool Navy garb and the official christening of the summer popcorn flick season. (Splashes) I can’t say that much about this film surprised me, in fact, I can’t say that anything about it really did. But I suppose there are only so many ways that one could tell a story in a sub. Lots of cramped quarters, an all-male crew tossing jargon upon jargon back and forth, others manning the electronic surveillance equipment diligently, everyone bracing for impact, or hoping for the non-impact. The proverbial “dive, dive, dive” bellow from the captain, the rookie member of the crew with his big moment to shine, the captain’s difficult decision to make, the staple scene of the entire crew stripping down to their skibbies and getting “jiggy” with one another. Well, okay…that last one was just to see if you were paying attention! (Splashes)

All in all, the film does deliver on its intended purpose: to entertain. I thoroughly enjoyed the film while I was there, liked the loud booms and bangs of the detonations, felt like I was getting thrown around just like one of the crew. Really liked the actors, McConaughey in particular, with his great looks, great hair and subtle confidence…a perfect casting choice. Keitel was also decent in his second fiddle role, as were the rest of the dirty group, who all seemed real enough for me to care about. (Splashes) Of course, the screenplay doesn’t really get too deep in respect to any of the characters, or the story for that matter (Nazis bad…Americans good), but these aren’t exactly the types of films which accentuate character development. This film is about having fun, believing what you see, being entertained and made especially for those who enjoy the easy, crunchy, action movies. Admittedly, I could have done without the umpteen shots of people staring at the sky waiting for the eventual impact/non-impact or the cheesy dialogue here and there, but God bless America, because this movie took my mind off my crappy problems du jour and at the end of the day…that’s what it’s all about! Get the nachos, grab the better half, spread some salsa all around and have yourself a good time! (Splashes)

The (Splashes) references throughout my text are made to poke fun at a recurring line from the film which was just too good to pass up. And for all you Jovi fans who want to know how the man makes out in this film, allow me to put your minds at ease, since he does deliver a pretty decent performance. Of course, things do get a little slippery when wet, right? (Sorry, but I just had to!)

(c) 2021 Berge Garabedian