VHS Retro Art Round-up: McBain, Crackerjack, Equalizer 2000 and more

Last Updated on August 2, 2021
Alex

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Every child of the 80s will remember going to the video store and trying to find a movie to rent. Back before the days of Blu-ray and On Demand, selecting a movie usually meant finding the flick with the coolest box art. Like modern posters, classic VHS art has been lost but thanks to the Internet there are countless reminders of these cool creations. This column will be dedicated to bringing you reminders of a bygone era and a look at how cool some of these movies looked on store shelves.

MCBAIN

Despite the title that shares a connection with a joke on The Simpsons, this Christopher Walken action movie is no joke. It bombed horribly in theaters but remains a cult classic on home video. Not easy to find, you may have stumbled across it on cable. But, do you really need anything beyond Walken with an automatic weapon? Click here to purchase on Blu-ray/DVD.

CHALLENGE THE NINJA

One of countless ninja movies to have been made, I cannot find much about this movie. But, no matter how obscure or bad of a movie it is, you cannot argue with the two beautifully painted covers below which look as awesome as anything ever made. Damn, I want to really play Mortal Kombat now. Click here to purchase on Blu-ray/DVD.

EQUALIZER 2000

This movie is a blatant MAD MAX rip-off that features an appearance by a young Robert Patrick. Also known as DEFENDER 2000, this movie cover has nipples and the most insane gun I have ever seen. More than enough rationale to check it out. Click here to purchase on Blu-ray/DVD.

FORGOTTEN WARRIOR

Another movie I cannot find much detail about, this looks like a cross between RAMBO and MAD MAX. While I am not complaining about that, it doesn’t look like it is that good of a movie. Still, you have explosions and some serious weapons on display on the boxes below. I would have rented this in a heartbeat.  Not Available on Blu-ray/DVD.

CRACKERJACK

Thomas Ian Griffith had a pretty big career in the Direct to Video market after his villainous turn in THE KARATE KID PART III. Most of the movies were garbage, but CRACKERJACK is the best of the garbage. Cheesy and low quality, but still a fun romp for a rainy day. Not Available on Blu-ray/DVD.

DEATH RAY 2000

Originally the pilot for NBC’s spy series “A Man Called Sloane”, this was repackaged as a TV movie before star Robert Logan was replaced by Robert Conrad. Now, I have never seen the series or this film, but there is a motherf*cking cobra on the cover so I have to find it. Not Available on Blu-ray/DVD.

Feel free to pop us your favorite VHS box art and come back for each future column. You can send your finds or photos of your own VHS tapes to alexmaidy@joblo.com

Source: JoBlo.com

About the Author

TV Critic / Columnist
6,324 Articles Published Started writing in 2012

Favorite Movies: Being There, The Shining, The Royal Tenenbaums, Suspiria, Seven, North By read more Northwest, Citizen Kane, The Monster Squad, Begotten, Fight Club, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Army of Darkness, Children of Men, Blade Runner, The Big Lebowski, Casino, Pi, Dumb and Dumber, The 400 Blows, Small Change, Bonnie & Clyde, Cool Hand Luke, Moulin Rouge, Gangs of New York, Shallow Grave, The Rock, The Incredibles, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, The Gate, Prince of Darkness, Oldboy, The Dark Knight, The Lord of the Rings, The Tree of Life, The Exorcist III, Midnight Special

Likes: To piss you off, unpopular opinions, the novels of Stephen King, read more obscure bands that even hipsters dont know, things that go boom, Reeses Pieces, Cate Blanchett, reading paper books, watching people falling down, a good jump scare, listening to a full album in one sitting, rooting for the underdog, red band trailers, rare steaks, cool beer labels, smooth whisky, properly proportioned image files, top ten lists, VHS tapes, and actually scary movies

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