Besides a little movie starring Harrison Ford and directed by Steven Spielberg hitting theaters this week, there’s also Uwe Boll’s POSTAL… though only on four screens nationwide. Don’t blink, or you’ll miss that one… actually, you may want to go ahead and blink. On DVD, it’s George A. Romero day, as DIARY OF THE DEAD and yet another reissue of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD are hitting the shelves. Top it off with some exploitation with WOMEN’S PRISON MASSACRE, you’re having yourself a stellar Memorial Day weekend ahead of you!
SLAUGHTERING THEATERS THIS WEEK
Rated: R for strong sexuality, graphic nudity, violence, and for pervasive language and some drug use.
Starring Gary Coleman, Vince Desiderio, Richard Kyanka, Ralph Moeller, Ron Perlman
Directed by Uwe Boll
Run Time: 106 Min.
Follows two days in the life of the Postal Dude, in the regrettably named town of Paradise. Just when he thinks he has hit rock bottom, things get worse. Sharing a trailer with his ever-expanding wife, Bitch, Dude is in a bad way. After a humiliating job interview and a nearly lethal trip to the welfare office, Dude finds himself on the doorstep of his Uncle Dave. Despite being the successful leader of the town cult, Dave is also finding himself in financial difficulties. Together, Dude and Dave hatch a plan to steal some valuable merchandise. Unfortunately for them, the much better organized and much better equipped Taliban has converged on Paradise for more sinister reasons. Things spiral out of control when Osama Bin Laden is forced to call in his friend George W Bush as back up. Few are left standing by the time Dude turns his back on Paradise. Dude quickly learns how liberating it can be when there is nothing left to lose. He learns never to trust a messiah, especially when that messiah has written his own bible. He learns that you can find love in the most unlikely places, even when the object of your affections is holding a gun to your head. Most importantly, he learns that there is nothing that a well timed nuclear explosion can’t solve.
SLAUGHTERING STORES THIS WEEK
Rated: R
Starring Joshua Close
Directed by George A. Romero
Run Time: 96 Min.
Romero continues his influential Dead series, this time focusing on a terrified group of college film students who record the pandemic rise of flesh-eating zombies while struggling for their own survival.
NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD
Rated: UnRated
Starring Marilyn Eastman, Karl Hardman, Rossie Harris, Duane Jones, Judith O’Dea
Directed by George A. Romero
Run Time: 96 minutes
George A. Romero’s Night of the Living Dead still sets the standard for all indie fright flicks. This 40th Anniversary Edition authorized by the director himself reanimates the landmark tale of five strangers who struggle desperately against hordes of the walking undead. Re-mastered and loaded with all-new Special Features.
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WOMEN’S PRISON MASSACRE UNCUT! plus CAGED WOMEN
Rated: UnRated
Directed by Bruno Mattei
Starring Laura Gemser
Run Time: 270 Minutes
Emanuelle, a reporter, comes just a little too close to exposing a corrupt official, and is sent to prison on trumped-up charges. In the prison, the inmates are constantly humiliated and tortured by the prison staff. Overly affectionate prisoners are forced underwater, while others are obliged to look on. Emanuelle finds an enemy in the deranged Albina, who “runs the prison.” For the pleasure of the warden, Emanuelle and Albina are forced to fight each other with knives. Bad becomes worse when four men awaiting execution escape and take over the prison. Gore flows like water.
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