ARROW IN THE HEAD REVIEWS

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The Devil Inside (2012)
Written by: The Arrow
Director: William Brent Bell

Starring:
Fernanda Andrade/Isabella
Simon Quarterman/Ben
Evan Helmuth/David
Ionut Grama/Michael
PLOT-CRUNCH
Chick’s mom (Suzan Crowley) killed peeps while being exorcised years ago. Chick (Fernanda Andrade) goes to nut house in Rome to figure out what’s up with Mommy. Maverick priests and possession shenanigans ensues.
THE LOWDOWN
You know what’s worse than seeing a weak-tit flick in the cinemas? Seeing a weak-tit flick in the cinemas with a loud and obnoxious audience who are there for free and don’t give a shit about watching a movie. Now if it’s a cinematic boobs/blood party like Piranha 3D, I‘ll endure it, but a low key affair like THE DEVIL INSIDE? AT ALL! They really spat on my night. So yeah amidst the “way too low” sound they had at the movie theatre and the forever snickering, coughing, giggling, noise making, get up, sit down, get up, sit down audience I was stuck with, here’s what I managed to get out of THE DEVIL INSIDE.

It sucked. End of opinion. I wish. F*ck I wish. This movie wasted enough of my time already so I will try to make this drivel short cause I want to put it behind me and move on to more important things, like mastering whacking off with my left hand. The good? The initial premise had potential, the mockumentory direction by William Brent Bell pulled off being credible, not too shaky and atmospheric. I also dug how he shot the only “stunt heavy” scene in the movie. Pretty eye popping! Actors Fernanda Andrade, Simon Quarterman and Suzan Crowley shined the most here. They did what they could with what they were given and from this a-holes perspective were the main reason this was half way watchable. Then we had the Rome locations, which upped the film’s production values and lent some validity to the piece. Finally, we got maybe two or three efficient “jump” bits, nothing to write home about though.

The bad? It established a solid base and then ran away from it. Should have stuck with the Rossi mom thing as the focal point of the story instead of going the silly way they went. And yup, it’s hard to get scared when the film makes you laugh at it, especially when the whole the thing is already non-frightening to begin with. Suspension of disbelief was through the roof too. I mean it was ludicrous! Bumbling cops, duh nuthouse workers, stupid character reactions to dire incidents (hey he was stressed out, that’s why he almost “xxxxx”)… the works! The film was also plagued by shoddy acting by lots of its secondary cast (note to actor: if you don’t smoke, don’t pretend to smoke in a movie, it looks silly), scenes of horror that were way too swift to have an impact, an undercooked subplot (Ben's thing) and worse of all, where the f*ck was the ending?

Seriously, last time I felt this jipped was when I got a lap dance at some strip club and the chick kept her top on…how does that work? Just when The Devil Inside was done with its build up, started to feel like it was going somewhere and that the next 20 minutes or so would MAYBE give the whole a purpose… it ended. Lack of budget? Didn’t know how to cap it all off? I don’t give a shit. The answer wouldn’t change what I got: cock tease, brick wall, a slap in the face, a plug for a website, roll credits. What???!!! Thanks for an awful night at the movies The Devil Inside! Connect these cuts! Pooey!
GORE
We get some blood, cuts and a messy blown up head.
T & A
Do a chick’s hairy under arm pits count?
BOTTOM LINE
I would have gotten more out of The Devil Inside if I had watched it at home, in the dark, with no mooks around, in dead silence…I know that. But that still wouldn’t have changed the fact that the acting was uneven, the scares/horror on the low jive, the chain of events plot hole laced, the unintentional laughs a-plenty and the ending being a big "Ha-Ha" by Nelson Muntz . Visit the website for more? How about you give me a finished movie instead! Yeah there was still some talent here, namely the tantalizing initial premise, the able directing and Fernanda Andrade, Simon Quarterman and Suzan Crowley doing their best. But that wasn’t enough to save this one’s soul. PS: You’ve seen the red band trailer for the movie? You’ve seen the horror that’s in it. PPS: What about the true story moniker tagged to its ass? Is it real? I don't care!
BULL'S EYE
William Brent Bell also wrote and directed the lousy Stay Alive (2006).

The flick was shot in Bucharest, Romania, Rome, Lazio, Italy and Vatican City.
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3:51PM on 01/21/2012
Since I haven't watched this yet I'll reserve judgment but after reading your review I gotta say, it looks very much like you based your review on your own personal bad night instead of the the film. Just my opinion but maybe you should revisit this when it hits dvd and then you'll have a better way of giving your real opinion of it because this was just written out of anger for those stupid people in the theater
Since I haven't watched this yet I'll reserve judgment but after reading your review I gotta say, it looks very much like you based your review on your own personal bad night instead of the the film. Just my opinion but maybe you should revisit this when it hits dvd and then you'll have a better way of giving your real opinion of it because this was just written out of anger for those stupid people in the theater
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6:19PM on 01/16/2012
I agreed with every word you said, Arrow. This film was crap, to say the least.
I agreed with every word you said, Arrow. This film was crap, to say the least.
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10:23AM on 01/09/2012
The Rite and Last Exorcism were bad enough, so the last thing I wanted to see was another terrible posession film, so I avoided this one like the plague, sounds like I made the right choice!
The Rite and Last Exorcism were bad enough, so the last thing I wanted to see was another terrible posession film, so I avoided this one like the plague, sounds like I made the right choice!
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4:06PM on 01/06/2012
Totally agree with everything you said! Literally... that scene in the car after the hospital I was like "Okay, there should be like twenty minutes left and it might make up for all this crap" and then it went to credits. I looked at my brother and asked "Did we just watch a movie?" One scene really had me laughing though, when it showed each of them complaining about each other individually. I felt like I was watching a messed up version of THE REAL WORLD in that scene.
Totally agree with everything you said! Literally... that scene in the car after the hospital I was like "Okay, there should be like twenty minutes left and it might make up for all this crap" and then it went to credits. I looked at my brother and asked "Did we just watch a movie?" One scene really had me laughing though, when it showed each of them complaining about each other individually. I felt like I was watching a messed up version of THE REAL WORLD in that scene.
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