THE RUNNING MAN (1987)
Rating: 3 out of 4 /Buy the DVD Here
Tagline: The year is 2019. The finest men in America don’t run for President. They run for their lives
Directed by: Paul Michael Glaser
Starring: Arnold, Maria Conchita Alonso, Yaphet Kotto, Jim Brown, and Richard Dawson.
THE PLAN: The near future. Society is in tatters, and most of the world has its eyes stuck on a violent t.v. show where contestants fight for their lives using a variety of weapons and defenses. Only a wrongly imprisoned man can battle the evil creator of the show’s minions and expose the corruption of the program – while putting a mirror up to our own shallow sense of entertainment. Is it called DEATH RACE? F*CK NO! This is THE RUNNING MAN baby!
THE KILL: When doing REEL ACTION columns, me and my man Ammon usually aim for the somewhat lesser known, yet still appreciated action flicks from the 80s (and sometimes 70s and 90s) featuring beloved icons in roles that aren’t as easily definable (hence, we try to avoid titles like DIE HARD, TERMINATOR, etc…). I feel that THE RUNNING MAN fits into that category, even though, of course, I’ve loved it since I was a young fella and I bet most of you have too. So fun, twisted, and colorfully grotesque, it’s like a comic-book come to life (complete with some of the cheesiest dialogue you’ve ever heard).
The story, which could be called Stephen King by way of Steven E. de Souza (because it’s based on a short story by Stephen King, adapted by Steven E. de Souza, scribe of COMMANDO) is one we’ve seen before this picture, and since: Gee, we as humans sure enjoy trashy entertainment (and watching real people humiliate themselves). By golly, I bet if they put people on t.v. killing each other with f*cking chainsaws and blowtorches, the ratings would be great!
80s trailers rock!
That little bit of social commentary, always timely, predictably takes a back seat in what is, let’s face it, an Arnold Schwarzenegger vehicle. Schwarzenegger vehicles deal in blood, mayhem, explosions, and one-liners, and this movie doesn’t really want for any of those things. What it also has is a pretty good sense of humor, as the bulk of the flick’s action set-pieces (hell, we get The Running Man On Ice! at one point) are often so silly that one can’t help but figure it’s all done with a little tongue-in-cheek. So is – you’d have to assume – much of Arnie’s dialogue. At this point, the future Governator’s penchant for dishing out “snappy” rejoinders in ten words or less were already well-known, and here de Souza provides him with some truly amazing ones. “Here is Subzero! Now… plain zero!” Rhyming “zero” with “zero”? Genius.
Arnold: Ladies Man…
Also genius, in it’s own way, is the bizarre cast. The most famous action star in the world (of all time?), a real-life game show host (Family Feud host Richard Dawson), a couple of pro wrestlers (Jesse Ventura, Professor Toru Tanaka), a football legend (Brown), the founder of a famous rock group (Mick Fleetwood), an opera singer (Erland van Lidth) and uh, Dweezil Zappa. You’ve also got Maria Conchita Alonso in there, just because Arnold needs a woman to pull along behind him. For the most part, it’s Dawson’s who steals the film, as his slimy talk show host works the crowd with a smile even as he acts like a complete bastard behind the scenes (probably based on, I dunno, himself doncha think?). Jesse Ventura has a fun time as a former “stalker” who is relegated to hamming it up backstage until he’s forced out of retirement.
“Tell me you like my hair! Tell me!!
Obviously, if you’re ready for a ridiculously (ridiculous) good time in one of the most godawful-looking futures you’ve ever seen, THE RUNNING MAN is it.
“Uhhhh… What’re we playing again?
TOP DEATH: The stalker known as Buzzsaw gets his own weapon turned against him (as they all do) and, as Ah-nold would say, “has to split!” LOL!!
TOP ACTION: The showdown in Subzero’s hockey rink may make you scratch your head at first, but it’s got everything real hockey should, including sticks with blades on the end of them.
FEMALE EXPLOITATION: Alonso doesn’t show us the goods, but she’s looks awfully nice in a yellow jumpsuit.
HOMOEROTIC MOMENT: Director Glaser sure does like them bulging biceps.
TOP DIALOGUE: Honestly too many to choose from. But let’s go with Ah-nuld’s brilliant line-reading of “Uplink underground, uplink underground. If you say that one more time, I’ll uplink your ass, and you’ll be underground!”
DRINKING GAME: Chug an entire beer every time Jesse Ventura’s wig weirds you out. You’ll be stumbling after your buddies with a flamethrower before the credits are through!
TRIVIA:Director Glaser was the original “Starsky” from STARSKY AND HUTCH.
Andrew Davis (who would later go on to direct THE FUGITIVE) was the director at the beginning of production. He was fired less than two weeks into the shoot and replaced by Glaser.
God bless whoever put this montage together…
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