Cliffhanger remake

This is really the kind of thing that can make a movie news writer toss up their hands in surrender and just say “Ah, the hell with everything.” Pardon me while I do that. There, done.

A remake of Sylvester Stallone’s 1993 mountain thriller CLIFFHANGER is in the works. While director Renny Harlin’s original “DIE HARD in the snow” action flick involved Sly’s former ranger caught up in a heist gone wrong, the new version will focus on a group of younger climbers who probably text and tweet while securing carabiners. U R FALLING, ROFL

The redo comes from StudioCanal (TAKEN, TRANSPORTERs) and moronic-masterpiece maker Neal Moritz (STEALTH, XXX, THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS, the constant threat of a new ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK), who drops this brilliant gem: “Just as they rebooted STAR TREK, we’re going to do the same with CLIFFHANGER.” I just hope he’s prepared to deal with the hordes of fans and their passion for Gabe Walker’s universe.