Friend Request is the Myspace of horror films

Last Updated on August 2, 2021

Oof. So this one flew under the radar somehow, but better late than never I say! Because the world needs to be aware that shit like this exists. Moreover, that satire, irony, and all that is good in the world has been sucked away and we’re now living in a reality that is a husk of its former self, or – most likely – reality was always this meaningless and cruel and movies like FRIEND REQUEST help us pierce through our delusions and see the ugliness that surrounds us at all times. We’re living in a MadTV sketch – and not even a good one!

The worst part – more than the cheap production designs, perfunctory acting, and terrible effects – is that the film can’t even stick to its main conceit! It’s basically a goddamn witch movie with barely a connection to social media! That’d be like doing a report on Abraham Lincoln, and spending the whole time talking about JURASSIC PARK and only mentioning Lincoln in the intro and conclusion! That’s not how this works! Or at least not how it’s supposed to work! Again, meaning and purpose are lost concepts in a world that allowed THE EMOJI MOVIE and FRIEND REQUEST to exist in the same year! Hell, I’m almost positive this movie is the reason the hurricanes and fires are ravaging the country!

Meanwhile – if you care at all – FRIEND REQUEST will be messaging theaters September 22nd, far enough from Halloween so as not to compete with real horror films.

Source: YouTube

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Lord of the Rings, The Matrix, Dogma, Mulholland Drive, Donnie Darko, Network, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, Pulp Fiction, Mean Girls, Can't Hardly Wait, Tucker and Dale vs. Evil, Cabin in the Woods, The Lives of Others, Beetlejuice, Watchmen, Fight Club, Cloud Atlas, Mortal Kombat, Sky High, Seven Samurai, Cinema Paradiso, Oldboy, In the Mood for Love, Breathless, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Battle Royale, 400 Blows, The Royal Tenenbaums, Clergyman and the Seashell, The Kid, Safety Last!, Unforgiven, Little Sister, It Follows, Evil Dead 2, Man of Steel, The Dark Knight, Spider-Man 2, Coherence, Primer, Birdemic: Shock and Terror, The Room, Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie

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Writing, directing, editing, doing stand-up, watching movies/TV shows, reading books/comics, listening to death metal, playing Dungeons and Dragons, thinking of the best way to finally put an end to my meaningless and pitiful existence, Batman