Yeah that’s right, there’s a movie – just finished shooting – called f*cking GOBLIN SHARK ATTACK, and if that doesn’t wet your shorts, I don’t know what will (a hot pic of Peta Wilson perhaps?).
Previously called MALIBU SHARK ATTACK (not as good a title, but hell, I’d see that too), the flick just wrapped in Queensland under the eye of director David Lister (THE LAST LEPRECHAUN, BUSTIN’ BONAPARTE). No surprise the Sci Fi channel is involved, as they specialize in animal/mythological creature-of-the-week masterworks such as this.
Despite the amazing title, don’t think these sharks are actually goblins (I thought so too at first, and even though I don’t know how in the holy hell a shark can also be a goblin, I was already sold). There is, in fact, such a thing as a “goblin shark”. Producer Dale Bradley explained to Fangoria that these fish are “…very fearsome-looking creatures. Ours are actually larger than the real thing, but modeled on them for the look that the CG company is creating.”
“People do catch these things,” he continues, “but ours are monsters that get released from a big underground cavern during a seaquake. The resulting tsunami washes them ashore. Not only do car parks and basements of buildings, but we have sharks inside buildings as well. There’s a recipe for something cool there.”
I’d like to respectfully disagree with Lister and say there’s a recipe for something AWESOME there. Sharks in buildings = the ticket to my otherwise coal-black heart.
Going up against these goblins will be, yes, Peta Wilson (t.v.’s La Femme Nikita) – who, if I had to guess, can be expected to be donning many a tight, wet t-shirt throughout this goblin shark ordeal. Check out FANGO for some more details that make this sound like the best goddamn movie since CASABLANCA. Actually, that didn’t have any goblin sharks or Peta Wilson in it, did it? Hey F*CK you, CASABLANCA!
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