To be honest, when growing up I always felt closer to the
Americans than I do my own people. Although that really hasn’t changed much,
I have since gained a deeper appreciation for Canada over the years. So I would
like to take this opportunity to wish all of my fellow Canucks a HAPPY CANADA
DAY!. Yup today is that day (its also "Pay the Rent" day…dammit!)! A few things if I may…
Thank You Canada for:
David Cronenberg
Your happening night life (the clubs close at 3AM where I
live)
Your amazing Strip Clubs (where the girls are FULLY nude)
Your slack rules
Your down to earth attitude
Your tight Rock/Alternative bands
Rue Morgue Magazine
Your beautiful and easy women (well easy in my parts anyways)
Your cheap yet still damn tasty beer
Your low cost of living
Your gorgeous natural parks and scenery
The Fantasia Film Festival
My parents and my brother
Shape up Canada:
Your judicial system is a joke, ineffectual and in favor of the
bad guy. SHAPE UP!
Clarifications on
Canada:
We also have crime! LOTS OF IT! And yes…I
lock my doors at night (Michael Moore is full of shit). Incidentally, a
guy got stabbed to death in my building (wasn’t me) a while back. Now every time I go get my
mail I’m greeted by bloodstains on the floor. CLEAN THAT SHITE UP ALREADY YO!
I have never seen a Moose, an
Igloo or a Celine Dion concert.
We have Fast Food chains,
electricity, scumbag politicians, prostitution (yippee), fashion, expensive
restaurants, drugs, houses, cities, annoying beggars on the streets and we also
pay taxes (that our government pockets).
You see! We’re not too different than anybody
else! With that said…
HAPPY CANADA
DAY FROM THE ARROW!
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