Reviews & Counting
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Written by: The Arrow
Director: Nacho Vigalondo

Karra Elejalde/Héctor
Candela Fernández/Clara
Bárbara Goenaga/Chica del bosque
Nacho Vigalondo/Chico
7 10
Every day schmuck Hector (Karra Elejalde) sees his life turn to spin-cycle shit when scoping out a pair of titties with his binoculars results in a mad man attacking him and…well… that’s just the beginning.
Everybody and their uncle's Mail Order Bride around me has been yapping about Nacho Vigalondo's debut TIME CRIMES (Los Cronocrímenes)and I FINALLY got to smack its ass. Now, I didn't know much about the picture beforehand aside from it sporting a bandaged loony and some time travel stuff and I'm going to try to do the same for you. This is my attempt at being vaguer than vague with this garbage posing as a review. Here it goes! Okay no…um…I’m not ready yet. Okay…now…HERE IT GOES!

Don’t let the peeved off looking bandaged duder menacingly holding a pair of scissors on the one-sheet fool ya, TIME CRIMES is not a slasher film. Not even close. What it is though; is a taunt and amusing ride with a smarter than the norm screenplay, a sly sense of humor and a pacing that rarely let up for a hooker break. Now that I think of it, the flick somewhat reminded me of Alfred Hitchcock films but on some healthy yabbadabadoo acid. The flick echoed Hitch via its grounded approach to its regular dude character and by putting him through the ringer. And the theme of voyeurism that arose mirrored the balding perv's work as well. All of it wouldn’t have been worth spit if our hero wasn’t tip-top and thankfully, the filmmakers couldn’t have cast a better actor than Karra Elejalde for the part. The dude’s subtle manner and his incredibly organic performance really helped in bringing the film home.

And you got to respect this one’s unpretentious M.O. I mean, even though its subject matter was fairly complex, the film aimed to entertain first. It tackled its intricate plot line in the simplest way possible. Time travel films have a tendency to stop me dead in my tracks as I try to grasp the big picture. Here I was too busy having a hoot, immersed in the happenings and back-handed by the clever plot turns for that to happen. Topple on top of that, some potent suspenseful bits, an appealing visual style, a clever way of f*cking with our heads by way of showing us events from different point of views and a badass score by Chucky Namanera's that contributed to the film’s overall sense of urgency and you get a gnarly ride that should make your day.

Now the flick did rub me the wrong way in some instances. I still wanna know “why” a scratch on the head would have somebody bandage their whole noggin. Didn’t get that one. The film also slightly lost its grasp on its tone when it hit its third act. The chain of events got so “out there” that I started finding the film TOO funny. Was that the intention? You tell me! And don’t do like me and think about TIME CRIMES real hard afterwards Dissecting its ins and outs gave me a ice cream headache. Finally, as the last frame faded out and the end credits rolled; I didn’t feel 100% fulfilled. Not sure how I expected the film to end but although fitting, the cap-off had me craving more.

Overall, TIME CRIMES was well written, acted and directed. It was also incredibly entertaining. It was missing “something” for me to dub it a masterpiece… hence calling it a “really good film” will have to do!
Not much of it. We get a stabbing, a gash on the forehead and blood here and there. Nothing to fetch the Ketchup bottle about.
Karra Elejalde (Héctor) so f*cking nailed it! His focused, subtle and totally natural showcase was one of the film’s biggest strengths. Candela Fernández (Clara) did fine in what she had to do. Bárbara Goenaga (Chica del bosque) and her meaty fun bags stole the show when they popped up. Director Nacho Vigalondo (Chico) sold me as the scientist with the most!
T & A
Barbara Goenaga graces us with quite the melons shot! Thanks Barbs! I really appreciated it and so did the MOTHRA in my chinos.
Armed with a solid editor, Nacho Vigalondo slam dunked a visually energetic flick that didn’t go too buck-nuts with the kinetic stuff but that pulled off a juggling act of grounded and stylized. The man also got 3 cherries when it came to generating tension. Good stuff
Chucky Namanera's gripping electronic score did wonders for the film.
TIME CRIMES made for a smooth sail! The acting was stellar, the chain of events engrossing and the plot twists randomly surprising. The film's organic sense of humor also came through and so did its little pervert side which I of course related to. Any movie that lingers so shamelessly on a pair of titties gets my seal of approval and a first round of beers… on me! Sure, the film kind of became too funny two thirds in, I wasn’t fully satisfied in the end and I'm sure if look back and try to figure it out, migraines will kick in, but on the whole I had a blast! Recommended!
A US remake of Timecrimes is already in the works. Of course... urg...