The Hollywood Reporter announced a silly sounding “romantic gothic fairy tale” featuring demons and romance, and all things that make you a little mad that they’re even associated with the genre. It’s called CRADLEWOOD, and there’s no doubt it will blow your mind… in how lame it sounds. Then again, you can’t have too many gothic fairy tales, right?
Ian Somerhalder has just been cast in the lead role, and as his credits includes the current VAMPIRE DIARIES on the CW (not to mention the first season of LOST and the underrated RULES OF ATTRACTION), I’d have to say he’s probably perfect for a movie like this. So what’s this thing really about? Check it:
[The film revolves around] an Australian (Emma Lung) woman living in Boston with the heir (Somerhalder) to an incredible fortune whose family history is swirled in a legend that tells of a pact made with a demon which ensures that whenever a boy is born into the family, the father is killed. The heir suspects his girlfriend is pregnant, and after strange events occur, he comes to believe he will die if he continues to fall in love.
Ok, that started with the longest run-on sentence in the history of run-on sentences, then ended with one of the dumbest lines ever uttered: he will die if he continues to fall in love. Wow. I’m speechless. This shit’s so ridiculous that it’s kind of funny in a way, almost laughable in how lame it sounds. Will anybody be into this? Hard to believe it even got greenlit in the first place…
Oh wait, it gets better. Producer Michel Shane had this to say about the project: “We see this is as almost like an American-style ‘Pan’s Labyrinth’ in look and feel. It’s a perfect segue for the kids who have outgrown ‘Twilight’ but want something romantic and scary. Our monster will be quite terrifying; she is sexually attractive and monstrous at the same time.”
Wow. Just what we need, PAN’S LABYRINTH meets TWILIGHT. Stick around for more on CANDLEWOOD as we hear it!
Emma Lung!
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