This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity* and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.
The Defendant
The Case
The Prosecution: New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day, Georgia Rule, Raising Helen, Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement, The Princess Diaries, The Other Sister, Exit to Eden, Dear God, Beaches
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Garry Marshall is known for mostly directing romantic-comedies and chick flicks, and nearly all of them have received abysmal reviews from critics. Mr. Marshall is responsible for the recent ensemble films New Year's Eve and Valentine's Day, as well as plenty of other negatively reviewed movies like Georgia Rule, The Other Sister and Exit to Eden.
Mr. Marshall made his directorial debut with 1984's The Flamingo Kid, which is also his highest reviewed movie. Think about that for a second: the director has been a part of Hollywood for over 30 years now, however his "best" film is still his first one. The only reason Mr. Marshall continues to find work is because many of his movies have done well at the box office, despite less than stellar reviews. And it's not as if Mr. Marshall has been working with unproven or limited actors either.
You could argue that a few of his movies belong on the defense's side, but in the prosecution's opinion Mr. Marshall bad films definitely outweigh his good ones. The prosecution doesn't have a problem with rom-coms, but we do have an issue with awful films (regardless of the genre), and that's exactly what the Pretty Woman director has been pumping out for the past two-plus decades.
The Defense: Runaway Bride, Frankie and Johnny, Pretty Woman, Overboard, Nothing in Common, The Flamingo Kid, Young Doctors in Love
Ladies and gentlemen, yes, Mr. Marshall has "pumped out" a few turds during his career, however the defense doesn't think the director belongs in prison. My client has for the most part stuck with female-driven movies, and although the prosecution claims he isn't being considered Movie Jail because of his rom-com work, the defense does wonder if Mr. Marshall would still be facing jail time if he was an action or horror movie director.
Critics usually don't have great things to say about Mr. Marshall's films (especially his recent ones), but there are a lot of people who enjoy his movies. For example, Georgia Rule and Raising Helen are under 25% at Rotten Tomatoes, however the audience scores for both films are over 50%.
Mr. Marshall also helped launch both Julia Roberts and Tom Hanks' careers with Pretty Woman and Nothing in Common (respectively), and he created/co-created several hit television series, including Happy Days, Laverne and Shirley and Mork & Mindy.
The defense understand why the prosecution is going after Mr. Marshall, but the defense just doesn't think he deserves to go to Movie Jail.
IN CLOSING…
What should we do with the New Year's Eve and Valentine's Day director? Should we have locked Mr. Marshall up a long time ago, or do you think he still has a good movie left in him? Is filmmaker Garry Marshall GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?
*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyway, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?
LAST WEEK'S VERDICT
Superman Returns star Kate Bosworth was found GUILTY of all charges in last week's trial. Miss Bosworth has had a few decent turns, but most of the jury said they don't think she's a particularly good actress, and they haven't been that impressed with many of her movies either. Sorry Blue Crush fans.
PREVIOUS VERDICTS
GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr., Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen, Renee Zellweger, Shia LaBeouf, Renny Harlin, Diane Keaton, McG, Demi Moore, King Joffrey (Game of Thrones Special), David Spade, Spike Lee, Kevin James, Joel Schumacher, Ehren Kruger, Chris Rock, Mark Steven Johnson, Mickey Rourke, Ashley Judd, Uma Thurman, Josh Duhamel, Saw Franchise (Halloween Edition), Zach Braff, Sam Worthington, Melissa McCarthy, The Wachowski Siblings, Kate Bosworth
NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Edition), Johnny Knoxville, Orlando Bloom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dan Aykroyd, Sylvester Stallone, Gavin Hood, Jason Lee, Jennifer Garner, Carrie-Anne Moss, Kate Beckinsale, John Cusack, Chris Columbus, Clive Owen, Terrence Howard, Andrew Niccol, Drew Barrymore, Steve Martin, Joel Silver, Michelle Rodriguez, Kiefer Sutherland, Dario Argento, Susan Sarandon, Dennis Quaid, Rob Reiner, Gwyneth Paltrow, Mel Gibson, Pierce Brosnan, Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman, Ivan Reitman, Stephen Sommers, Shawn Levy, Jai Courtney, Ridley Scott, Peter Jackson, Jamie Foxx, Luc Besson, Jason Reitman, Mila Kunis
UPDATES: Robert De Niro, Nicolas Cage and Roland Emmerich, Jim Carrey, Robert Rodriguez and Gerard Butler, Jessica Alba, Julia Roberts and The Farrelly Brothers, Ben Stiller, Tim Burton and Shia LaBeouf, Johnny Depp, Kevin Smith & Chris Rock
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What’s Not Allowed