The Ten Spot: The 12 Best Stephen King Adaptations

There is a definite second coming in my life as far as Stephen King goes. I picked up his novel, '11/22/63', to simply pass some time at my day job and fell in love with every page. Then, seeing if it was a fluke, I tried 'Under the Dome', and was captivated all over. As a youngling I was obsessed with his books, firing though them back to back to back to back...... Then there was nothing for years. I tried 'Cell' a few years back and was so put off i figured I wasn't missing anything. I was wrong. King has established himself in my daily schedule once again. What better time to celebrate a modern day icon than now? So.... this.

1. The Shawshank Redemption

If you would have told me when I was a kid that the greatest adaptation of a Stephen King novel would not be of a horror story I would have asked you to leave me alone. You're creepy and I don't even know you. I always remember watching this movie for the first time. Me and a bunch of friends were crammed in somebody's basement. One of the hottest girls was squeazed next to me and I remember thinking if I positioned my arm just right I could press against her boob. In fact, I was so captivated by the film she could have spent the entire second half of the film naked while shaving her mound and I wouldn't have noticed.

2. Stand By Me

What kid didn't want to go find a dead body after seeing this? I rounded up the two kids that talked to me once in my grade school and even recruited a fat kid so we could head down the railroad tracks and claim our prize. After a block and a half we all hated each other. I didn't even get to pull a leach off my nuts. For some reason though, my brother and his friends still pulled a gun on me when I got home.

3. The Shining

I'm not the biggest fan of this movie but there's no denying the brilliance of Jack Nicholson in his prime. You can't even think about this novel (which is beyond great, by the way) without picturing Jack's performance. There's something to be said about such a memorable presence. So I just said it.

4. The Green Mile

Weeks after seeing this film it started to burn when I went pee-pee. I found the biggest black dude I could find and asked him to hold my wang and spit bugs in my face. This didn't work out like I planned. Ironically though the burning went away during the next month I spent in intensive care. Fuck you, Percy.

5. The Dead Zone

I always thought this was a zombie movie when I was a kid. I imagined there was this creepy inner-city neighbourhood populated and run by the living dead. They were the world's deadliest street gang. I was an idiot. I also thought THE DEAD POOL was about an evil old man that used to invite all the little local brats over for a swim in his creepy swimming pool...... where he kept all his zombies!!!!!!!!!! My dog was my best friend.

6. Misery

Seems a little high (even as I write this) but I'd be smart not to forget the epic performance of Kathy Bates in this film. That alone should move it up a few spots in anyone's book. This movie is why I have never owned a sledgehammer (or bed straps. Who the fuck owns bed straps?). And why I refuse to commune with my most rabid of fans. In my head.

7. The Mist

The most recent film on the list, THE MIST packs a punch right until the last frame. I'm glad it took so long to bring this story to screen so they could do it right. And with the wok Darabont and Thomas Jane brought us here I was always hoping they'd reunite on 'The Walking Dead' at some point. Then Darabont took one in the back.

8. Cujo

Good puppy. This is the one film on the list that I've revisited most recently, and man, does it not disappoint. With all the monsters and aliens Hollywood can think up any more I don't think any of them match the horror of Cujo. He should have got his own franchise out of this much like Freddy and Jason did. Cujo II: Curb This, Bitch

9. Carrie

I'm pretty sure I love this movie so much because it reminds me of my own prom. So much pigs blood. As freaky as everything that Carrie can do, and does, in this film nothing creeps me out more than her God fearing mother. And that damn grave scene almost ended my young life the first time I saw it.

10. Apt Pupil

The third novella to be birthed to the screen from the pages of 'Different Seasons' might not be as popular as the first two (STAND BY ME & THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION) but still deserves a spot on the list. Nazi war criminals make horrible next door neighbors. As do assholes that cut their grass every other day. I hate both equally.

11. Pet Sematary

I remember thinking this movie was goofy after seeing it for the first time. Viewing after viewing has led to an appreciation for the amount of memorable scenes and creepy shit that lingers in my nightmares (Zelda is going to kill me one day. Know this).

12. Creepshow

Not only does he write all the stories, he also gets to act in one of them. I'm sure this led to his guest spot on 'Sons of Anarchy'. Before we go any further, please don't get your panties in a bunch about the order of this list. Some days CREEPSHOW will be in my top 5, some days it won't. I love it regardless.
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