Satanic Panic (Movie Review)

Last Updated on August 2, 2021

PLOT: Sam's first day as a pizza delivery driver is not going according to plan. At the end of a long day and not enough tips, her last delivery turns out to be for a group of Satanists looking for someone to sacrifice. Now in a fight for her life, Sam must fend off witches, evil spells and demonic creatures, all while trying to keep her body – and soul – intact.

REVIEW: First off, how's about we kick this whole deal off by talking about just how kick-ass this flick's title is. SATANIC PANIC (WATCH IT HERE)? It just doesn't get better than that, folks. But moving on from the killer title, the other main reason I was looking forward to checking out this flick as soon as possible was for the guy behind the screenplay. For those of you that might not know, this film's script was penned by Grady Hendrix. Hendrix is most well known (at least by this guy) for penning the must-own "Paperbacks from Hell" and my personal favorite novel of the past two years "My Best Friend's Exorcism." 

And don't forget that Hendrix penned the script from a story he co-wrote along with Ted Geoghegan. Who's that? Well, Geoghegan is well known to horror fans as the mastermind behind such neo-classics as WE ARE STILL HERE starring Barbara Crampton and MOHAWK starring Kaniehtiio Horn. So Hendrix and Geoghegan teaming up again (following MOHAWK)  and this movie's script has creditably to be sure. So does the talent produce a solid script? Hell, yeah! Great. But does the script produce an equally killer horror-comedy? Not so much. But close. 

Let start this out by talking up the film's good aspects. The cast is great with newcomer Hayley Griffith bringing all the required charm and comedic timing to the proceedings as Samantha 'Sam' Craft. I fully expect to see this girl in more movies throughout the next few years. From there, the movie sports Rebecca Romijn as the head witch herself and she brings the gorgeous gore to the proceeds time and time again. And let's not forget to touch base on one of my favorite up-and-coming scream queens Ruby Modine. You may know her for her role in director Christopher Landon's PG-13 slasher flick HAPPY DEATH DAY and HAPPY DEATH DAY 2U. 

And speaking of Modine, there is one REALLY killer scene involving the up and coming genre actress that is a showstopper. It ain't easy to get me queasy during a horror movie (let alone a horror-comedy) but this scene in question is filled with some super phobias and – no pun intended – really got under my skin. And that's a good thing, FYI! As unofficially promised by the Fangoria label, this movie delivers on the red stuff. On top of that gnarly scene hinted at above, we also get some good old gore such as intestines pulled out of someone's mouth, a huge dildo drill impaling (band name), a heart ripped out of someone's neck (yeah, you read that right), lopped-off heads, bunny rabbit munching, and more!

The main cast aside, the film also sports some fun "cameos" from actors such as Jeff Daniel Phillips (LORDS OF SALEM, THREE FROM HELL), Jordan Ladd (CABIN FEVER), and A.J. Bowen (A HORRIBLE WAY TO DIE, YOU'RE NEXT). And let's not forget a quick but memorable turn by Romijn's main man Jerry O'Connell. I've been a fan of his since his days as the pudgy kid in Stephen King's STAND BY ME and I'm glad he keeps popping up in more and more genre fare such as PIRANHA and the second season of Ryan Murphy's SCREAM QUEENS. Keep the horror happenings coming, O'Connell, and we'll keep watching!

Unfortunately, the biggest drawback to the movie is, you know, the way it looks. For a movie this off the rails the camerawork is surprisingly quite bland. Sure, not every horror-comedy needs to go full Raimi, but a little more creativity would've been fitting and appreciated. But that's not such a big deal, right? Nah, we'll live. Overall the movie sports a killer screenplay and the final product is fast, fun, and will give you most of what you're looking for. But that said, I'm sad to say that this isn't the new cult classic we were hoping for. Too bad. Guess we'll have to wait for THE BABYSITTER 2 for another dose of solid satanic shenanigans. This will do in the meantime.