Earlier today, Jared P. informed us all on the extra, extra limited theatrical release of MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN, which really is just a f*cking joke. Lionsgate must have one big ass grudge against Clive Barker or tough guy Vinnie Jones because the buzz on TRAIN has been awesome. This is one mystery that may never be solved.
Whatever! F*ck it! I don’t care if the studio wants to treat this MEAT TRAIN like shit! I’m still going to plug its awesomeness! Just take a look up top at the latest still released from the pic. That is some sick, stupendous shite! MEAT TRAIN indeed! Nothing but bloody, naked corpses hanging upside down on the handrails that commuters grab onto everyday. Wow, and I thought those handrails were unsanitary before! I don’t think I’m ever going to ride in the subway again!
What I’m trying to get at is, how could a horror flick with images like that not give Lionsgate willies of joy? It’s definitely not too sadistic or violent—just look at all the SAW flicks that Lionsgate releases. Did they think that Bradley Cooper came off as too unlikable in WEDDING CRASHERS to be believed as a good guy? Was Leslie Bibb (below) too hot for the big screen thus risking a fire at the theater? As you can see, all my guesses are just plain ridiculous, which is exactly what keeping MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN from a wide theatrical release is: F-ing Ridiculous!
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