Time to nut up or shut up! - Tallahassee
Even though I am OFFICIALLY sick of zombie movies, the TRAILERS for ZOMBIELAND had my blood spilling; looked like a potentially AWESOME effort. So I went in there hoping for some easy wam-bam-thank you mam – lose my number… but nothing could’ve prepared me for the UN-ADULTERATED BLAST that I had with it. DAMN!
ZOMBIELAND was a brilliantly written flick. The way it capitalized on its premise was genius while the dialogue was witty and sharp. Not since the hey-days of Tarantino has repartee been so biting. Big props to screenwriters Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick for their solid screenplay. BEERS ARE ON ME GENTS! You heard me… ON ME! The random self referencing moments (them Zombie rules owned me) hit the mark as well and the characters were endearing to say the least. I warmed up to Columbus (Eisenberg who was IDEAL for the role) right away. His brutally honest demeanor as to himself via his cynical narration so hit the mark – I was in stitches. And when rock & roll zombie destroyer Tallahassee (tackled by an on the ball Woody Harrelson, who hasn’t been this cool in a movie since Natural Born Killers) came into the picture and tagged along with our protagonist; the flick upped its ante and cleaned house. From that point on, I couldn’t see how this one could go wrong.
The buddy-buddy chemistry these two mooks shared was a hoot to witness no doubt. Both Harrelson and Eisenberg complemented and bounced off each other flawlessly. Talk about an electric and effortless chemistry. I wonder if these dudes became the best of friends on set? Sure looked like they did. Visually, this rollercoastdead ride was pure, edgy energy. The tempo was swift, the shots often kinetic and the editing creative. Moreover, I loved the sly use of uber slow motion and ramping (aka speed ramping, which is when the image suddenly speeds up and then slows down) which brought impact and further laughs to key zombie scenes. Director Ruben Fleischer is somebody to keep tabs on that’s for sure. This was his first feature and he slammed it out of the park. His eye was speedy, flamboyant, stylish and very “now”. His vibe was totally in tune with my own personal cinematic affinities. You go boy!
What about the gore you may ask? Any of that candy in this play-pen? F*CK YEAH! I’m talking grisly zombie bites and severed limb all communicated via stellar special effects at that. Add to that a rocking soundtrack (Metallica, Van Halen…nice!), a sexy and likable show by Emma Stone, a surprise cameo that floored me, all kinds of money sight gags and a horde of stand out action scenes that fulfilled my carnage and firearm fetishes and you get a superior horror hump. This one just kept acing its math tests with my fav equation being: a slew of automatic weapons + an amusement park + countless zombies = ARROW SOLD! No bull, I can’t remember the last time I had this much fun at the movies. And I was alone on this one. Nobody backing me up! It’s rare that I hit the theaters solo, I like company – but this time it didn’t matter.
My sole peeves with the flick had to with how our two leads kept getting swindled by a girly duo. I just didn’t fully buy it. I mean if Tallahassee can kill 500 Zombies without having to scratch his balls why couldn’t he handle two young dames? Suspension of disbelief was needed here – big time! Same went for the last plot turn which didn’t feel organic to me, especially when taking into account where the characters were (mentally) at that point. It was obviously only there to FORCE the story in the direction it needed to go. Finally the middle section lagged a bit with maybe a tad too much blab going on and not enough undead schtuff, but I survived it, I didn’t get hurt and the explosive and mayhem filled last act definitely made up for it.
So… yeah… I think I made myself clear here – ZOMBIELAND was amazing – the REAL DEAL! See it with a gang of friends, sneak in a mickey and expect a great old time! It’s an ideal horror party movie!