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Boll gets Furlong

Apr. 2, 2009by:

Uwe Boll has signed Edward Furlong to his latest documentation of monkeys flinging shit at each other. Billy Zane and Kristina Loken are also along for the adventure. The film is JANJAWEED and it is about American journalists in Sudan who are torn between coming home and reporting on the atrocities, or staying there to help. I'm sure it will be handled with the requisite sensitivity. Just like the window washer scene in POSTAL.

I literally have no idea how Uwe Boll continues to snare talent. I mean, these people are the industry, they've seen his movies, right? It's not like he's creeping up on them unawares. They know who this mother f-cker is, don't they? How is he doing it? And more importantly, who is safe? Are our loved ones? Our children? What kind of black magic is this?
Extra Tidbit: Loken worked with Uwe Boll on IN THE NAME OF THE KING.
Source: Variety

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12:45PM on 04/04/2009
Didn't she also work with him in BloodRayne? And as for Furlong being "talent," is that why JoBlo has him in the Awfully Good section for his tear-jerking work in the Crow sequel? This kid hasn't done shit since T2 and American History X. I'm really not that worried we're losing a quality actor to Uwe Boll. I was more worried about what video game adaption he was raping, then who.
Didn't she also work with him in BloodRayne? And as for Furlong being "talent," is that why JoBlo has him in the Awfully Good section for his tear-jerking work in the Crow sequel? This kid hasn't done shit since T2 and American History X. I'm really not that worried we're losing a quality actor to Uwe Boll. I was more worried about what video game adaption he was raping, then who.
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11:56PM on 04/03/2009
are you guys retarded? MONEY!!! That's how he gets people to star in his movies. Ed Furlong, Kristanna Loken, Ray Liotta, they're not stars, they need the paycheck.

I agree with DevilsRejects. Furlong is a little twerp, a fucking junkie that is not talented. He basically plays himself in every movie.
are you guys retarded? MONEY!!! That's how he gets people to star in his movies. Ed Furlong, Kristanna Loken, Ray Liotta, they're not stars, they need the paycheck.

I agree with DevilsRejects. Furlong is a little twerp, a fucking junkie that is not talented. He basically plays himself in every movie.
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1:11PM on 04/03/2009

sounds ok to me

this is actualy lokens 3rd film with boll, i dont see peoples problems with his films. they are original and just as good as a lot of crap hollywood puts our way.
this is actualy lokens 3rd film with boll, i dont see peoples problems with his films. they are original and just as good as a lot of crap hollywood puts our way.
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10:15AM on 04/03/2009

they should just do

TX VS John Connor!
TX VS John Connor!
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7:47AM on 04/03/2009
Fuck, this shithead still making movies? And he's using up talents?!
Fuck, this shithead still making movies? And he's using up talents?!
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5:50AM on 04/03/2009
*smacks self in forehead* OY...
*smacks self in forehead* OY...
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12:27AM on 04/03/2009
His movies are total BOLL shit.... see what I did to your name Uwe. hehehe
His movies are total BOLL shit.... see what I did to your name Uwe. hehehe
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10:27PM on 04/02/2009
I vowed never to watch one of his cinematic pleasures but I did happen to catch a scene from a Uwe Boll movie once. I was flipping channels and saw a ridiculous action scene in the forrest. I mean straight LOTR battle at amon hen ripoff. Maybe even the same location with the same costumes. I immediately assumed it was one of those sci-fi channel movies of the month based on the atrocious editing and 4:3 feel of it all. Midway through the same 4 moves done over and over again I happened 2
I vowed never to watch one of his cinematic pleasures but I did happen to catch a scene from a Uwe Boll movie once. I was flipping channels and saw a ridiculous action scene in the forrest. I mean straight LOTR battle at amon hen ripoff. Maybe even the same location with the same costumes. I immediately assumed it was one of those sci-fi channel movies of the month based on the atrocious editing and 4:3 feel of it all. Midway through the same 4 moves done over and over again I happened 2 catch the actor doing the damage, and it was Jason Statham. Before I could even being to fathom how sci-fi got Statham into a movie I saw Ray Liotta in the most ridiculously obscure wardrobe since Battlefield Earth. When I came to my senses I hit the guide button and saw that it was Uwe Boll's fantastical pooper In the name of the King.
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9:24PM on 04/02/2009
What I'm surprised is that Kristanna Loken does return for the 2nd time to work with Boll. With Boll?? Second time?? And I agree with DevilsRejects, Boll is one amazing "modern day Ed Wood". I'm totally surprised that, regardless of all his past projects, he managed to get new projects more and more. What's the world coming to?
What I'm surprised is that Kristanna Loken does return for the 2nd time to work with Boll. With Boll?? Second time?? And I agree with DevilsRejects, Boll is one amazing "modern day Ed Wood". I'm totally surprised that, regardless of all his past projects, he managed to get new projects more and more. What's the world coming to?
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4:45PM on 04/02/2009

Wait, did you just refer to Furlong as "talent?"

I have more talent in my pubic hair than that little junkie. I can't stand him, and honestly, I don't think he's good ENOUGH for a Boll film.

Then again, I think Boll is an amazing troll, a spectacularly self-aware modern day Ed Wood, and I'd rather watch his films than whatever new shit Spielberg or James Cameron (who we can blame for Furlong in the first place) happen to put out.
I have more talent in my pubic hair than that little junkie. I can't stand him, and honestly, I don't think he's good ENOUGH for a Boll film.

Then again, I think Boll is an amazing troll, a spectacularly self-aware modern day Ed Wood, and I'd rather watch his films than whatever new shit Spielberg or James Cameron (who we can blame for Furlong in the first place) happen to put out.
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4:37PM on 04/02/2009

How

My friends and I have this theory on how Uwe Boll keeps getting talent and money. He writes a really good script (or has someone else write it), then shows that one off, but puts a disclaimer on it by saying it might getting rewritten a few times depending on budget and cast, etc. So, he gets a great cast (seriously, how did he get Liotta and Statham for "In The Name Of The King"?), and then rewrites the script so it's terrible, and then just craps while shooting the movie. Remember, he is
My friends and I have this theory on how Uwe Boll keeps getting talent and money. He writes a really good script (or has someone else write it), then shows that one off, but puts a disclaimer on it by saying it might getting rewritten a few times depending on budget and cast, etc. So, he gets a great cast (seriously, how did he get Liotta and Statham for "In The Name Of The King"?), and then rewrites the script so it's terrible, and then just craps while shooting the movie. Remember, he is trying to make bad movies, so they will fail and he'll make money because of the tax loophole.
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3:43PM on 04/02/2009

...

well, for one, Zane was highschool bully friend no.3 in Back to the future

lol
well, for one, Zane was highschool bully friend no.3 in Back to the future

lol
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3:36PM on 04/02/2009

talent?

when exactly have furlong,zane or loken done anything that would justify them being considered talent?
when exactly have furlong,zane or loken done anything that would justify them being considered talent?
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2:57PM on 04/02/2009
Maybe he threatens them with his mad boxing skills if they don't star in his films.
Maybe he threatens them with his mad boxing skills if they don't star in his films.
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2:54PM on 04/02/2009
Article shoud be titled "Uwe Boll Takes A Shit, Sniffs It and Proudly Proclaims 'Ah-ha'"
Article shoud be titled "Uwe Boll Takes A Shit, Sniffs It and Proudly Proclaims 'Ah-ha'"
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