Review: Balls of Fury

Former professional ping-pong prodigy, Randy Daytona, is recruited by the FBI to go undercover in the pro ping-pong circuit. His objective is to bring down the most wanted criminal, Feng, who also happens to be the person who killed Randy’s father. As chance would have it, Feng is also the host for the most notorious underground ping-pong tournaments where players paddle to the death! Sadly the only thing that ensues is Maggie Q’s hotness.

Wow. I didn’t think it was going to suck this bad. I wanted to give BALLS the benefit of the doubt as I figured, if Chris Walken was in it, how bad could it really be, right? Walken was probably the best part of the show next to Maggie Q, of course. The whole concept was silly, the training sequence was stupid (it didn’t even seem like he got better) and the love segment was awkward (who wants to see a hot chick kiss a grimy looking dude?). I don’t know how much “funny” you can put into ping-pong but it really wasn’t happening here. All the games looked the same with the little white ball going ridiculously fast from one side to the other. So where’s the “HAHA” in that? They even tried to include some martial arts that looked like it was choreographed by the guys who did the Power Rangers. Bha!

Dan Fogler plays Randy Daytona the former child ping-pong prodigy. I like the guy but I just don’t think he has enough charm or charisma to carry a whole film. He would work better as a side kick. Actually, he could carry a Sam Kinison biography ’cause the guy looks and acts exactly like him! Uncanny!

Christopher Walken plays Feng, the FBI’s most wanted. Someone must have called in a favor here; I just don’t see why he would do a pic like this. I can just see it… His agent calls him up and says, Hey Chris you gotta read this script. This is going to be your SUPERBAD. Yeah right. OK. I will give him this; he was the best part of the movie. It’s just great to hear him talk. In fact, the way he talked and acted was exactly the same way he was in PULP FICTION. This guy could read verses from the bible and make it cool and funny! I could watch that for an hour and half.

With the exception of Maggie Q, Walken and Diedrich Bader, the rest of the characters were pretty lame and badly written. I don’t know why Jason Scott Lee was in this; his role was embarrassing to watch. I really felt bad for the guy. Stick to action buddy!

I was hoping for a no-brainer comedy and maybe getting a cool cameo of someone really funny and well known, but that never happened. There was just nothing really funny about this movie. I figured George Lopez could have added something but he was the most boring of all the characters. I would sit this one out guys. The only cool thing about ping-pong is taking a whole bunch of balls and putting them into a bowl, lighting them up and watching them burn. It’s cool!

— by Tim
Goernert