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The Cottage trailer

01.29.2008

You know, in a world where mindpuke like MEET THE SPARTANS exists, THE COTTAGE doesn't look that bad. But on that scale neither does small pox or Britney Spears' life trajectory, so we have to keep it objective. I saw this trailer when it ran before ALIENS VS. PREDATOR: REQUIEM, and it's just as unappealing seeing it a second time. The best I can muster for this thing is that I liked it better back when it was called SEVERANCE. And even then, save for about three scenes with Danny Dyer, I didn't really like it either. Here's the plot: "Set in a remote part of the countryside, a bungled kidnapping turns into a living nightmare for our four central characters when they cross paths with a psychopathic farmer and all hell breaks loose." The film stars Andy Serkis (KING KONG), Reece Shearsmith and Jennifer Ellison, who will probably be the best chance this thing has of being seen, since, you know, see above. And I don't like dumping on movies, but I just feel like I've seen this a million times before, and a million times better.

Check the trailer out HERE. If nothing else, the music is cool, and Ellison looks pretty good.
Extra Tidbit: Continuing my quest to find out which football (soccer) team each celebrity supports, Ellison is an Everton fan.

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+0
7:08AM on 01/30/2008

Cool

Well I'm biased cos the film maker is from my hometown! But.. this does have much more promise than the hollywood horror shit I've seen recently including that low budget crap Hatchet. P.S. Severence is a completely different movie... Danny Dyer isn't in this film - might want to correct the article.
Well I'm biased cos the film maker is from my hometown! But.. this does have much more promise than the hollywood horror shit I've seen recently including that low budget crap Hatchet. P.S. Severence is a completely different movie... Danny Dyer isn't in this film - might want to correct the article.
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7:05PM on 01/29/2008

stud

This article was written by James Thoo. Our trailers page is run by Alex Keen who I assure you is NOT a retarded monkey. Similar accusations have resulted in bannings so I'd tread lightly here on out...
This article was written by James Thoo. Our trailers page is run by Alex Keen who I assure you is NOT a retarded monkey. Similar accusations have resulted in bannings so I'd tread lightly here on out...
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6:43PM on 01/29/2008

stud

This article was written by James Thoo. Our trailers page is run by Alex Keen who I assure you is NOT a retarded monkey. Similar accusations have resulted in bannings so I'd tread lightly here on out...
This article was written by James Thoo. Our trailers page is run by Alex Keen who I assure you is NOT a retarded monkey. Similar accusations have resulted in bannings so I'd tread lightly here on out...
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6:00PM on 01/29/2008
Can't we have some consistency here? One moment, you're in this article bashing this film. And in the Trailers section, you give it 4 Burgers??? Is the Trailers section run by retarded monkeys?
Can't we have some consistency here? One moment, you're in this article bashing this film. And in the Trailers section, you give it 4 Burgers??? Is the Trailers section run by retarded monkeys?
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2:46PM on 01/29/2008
Aside from the song, which added an dak comedic twist, this film looks bad,very bad.
Aside from the song, which added an dak comedic twist, this film looks bad,very bad.
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1:16PM on 01/29/2008

CHEAP!

This looks like it was made with a $200 DV camera and a budget of $500.

Maybe Jennifer Ellison will take her clothes off?
This looks like it was made with a $200 DV camera and a budget of $500.

Maybe Jennifer Ellison will take her clothes off?
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12:30PM on 01/29/2008

Err

Did I totally misunderstand that paragraph? Severance is a completely different film. And yes, The Cottage does look mediocre at best.
Did I totally misunderstand that paragraph? Severance is a completely different film. And yes, The Cottage does look mediocre at best.
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