Federer wants Pitt

You can file this right under things that are never going to happen but I thought it was pretty interesting in an unbelievable way, nonetheless. Apparently Roger Federer wants Brad Pitt to play him in a movie. But that’s not the unbelievable part. No, that comes later:

“Appearing at a publicity event for a vibrating razor, Federer demonstrated his skills with a blade to 1,000 youths at a Chinese coming of age ceremony. Federer also said he wanted to play until he was 35 — and that he wants Brad Pitt to play him if a movie was made about the Swiss player’s life. Federer said “Brad Pitt did some tough movies and I’d like mine to be a tough movie too… Comedy would be fine too but I’m more a tough-guy movie kind of guy.”

For the record tennis is the sport where last month a dude surrendered his title by quitting a game because the weather was too hot. So I’m not exactly sure how you make a tough tennis movie but I think it involves taking massive creative liberties. Maybe on a day of moderate temperature a terrorist kidnaps the President’s daughter and puts her on a machine that is slowly crushing her, and the only way to shut it down is to press a button on the side, but no one can get close to it because there is a lava moat and planes can’t go there because the terrorist also disabled all machinery on the planet, so the FBI needs someone to launch some kind of object at the button from a distance. And also all of our quarterbacks and darts players and baseball pitchers and cricket bowlers have been stricken with food-poisoning. And so obviously, they need Special Agent Roger Federer. It could be like DIE HARD 4 meets WIMBLEDON.