Let’s see. A blonde Eva Green? A ginger Helena Bonham Carter? A grandmotherly Michelle Pfeiffer? And most insulting, a more effeminate Johnny Depp than Bella f*ckin’ Swan? WTF is going on with Tim Burton’s DARK SHADOWS?!?
Calling it like I see it folks, as a 4 new image scans from DARK SHADOWS have premiered in Vanity Fair. None are too flattering in my eyes, and since I can’t remember the last Burton movie I actually liked (SLEEPY HOLLOW I guess), I’m starting to sense red flags here. Of course, I know nothing of the 60s soap that that inspired the movie, so color me ignorant if you so choose. Still, I’m starting to think Depp has absolutely no desire to make good movies anymore. So very sad!
Set for a May 11th release:
In the year 1752, Joshua and Naomi Collins, with young son Barnabas, set sail from Liverpool, England to start a new life in America. But even an ocean was not enough to escape the mysterious curse that has plagued their family. Two decades pass and Barnabas has the world at his feet¡ªor at least the town of Collinsport, Maine. The master of Collinwood Manor, Barnabas is rich, powerful and an inveterate playboy¡¬ until he makes the grave mistake of breaking the heart of Angelique Brouchard. A witch, in every sense of the word, Angelique dooms him to a fate worse than death: turning him into a vampire, and then burying him alive.
Two centuries later, Barnabas is inadvertently freed from his tomb and emerges into the very changed world of 1972. He returns to Collinwood Manor to find that his once-grand estate has fallen into ruin. The dysfunctional remnants of the Collins family have fared little better, each harboring their own dark secrets. Matriarch Elizabeth Collins Stoddard has called upon live-in psychiatrist, Dr. Julia Hoffman, to help with her family troubles.
Also residing in the manor is Elizabeth’s ne’er-do-well brother, Roger Collins; her rebellious teenage daughter Carolyn Stoddard; and Roger’s precocious 10-year-old son, David Collins. The mystery extends beyond the family, to caretaker Willie Loomis and David’s new nanny, Victoria Winters.
Chloe Moretz, Gulliver McGrath, Bella Heathcote, Ray Shirley, Jackie Earle Haley and Jonny Lee Miller help round out the cast.
Caption the pic below!
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