EMAIL YOUR QUESTIONS TO TIFFANY HERE
Tiff
sayz: Happy Holidays my lil ham-hocks. It’s been a while
since we were last here together so I’m just going to go straight to your
questions. I know you’ve been going through the Shep-withdrawal, don’t worry I’m
back just breath through it.
Been
a reader of Arrow in the Head for years now and been a fan of yours for a big 3
minutes. My question is what is your favorite sexual position and why?
Tiff Sayz:
My favorite sexual position would have to be from behind while
lying on my side. Why? That way my partner will not know that I fell asleep and
am dreaming of somebody else.
Ashley asks: Do you think that
disrobing yourself in everything that you do goes against the constant and never
ending fight that is the objectification of women in cinema?
Tiff Sayz:
Hey Ashley, wow Ashley, what a good name. I was going to name my
daughter Ashley but I was afraid people would call her Ash and then if she was
un-cool, Ash-hole. Do people ever call you Ash-hole? I digress. Sorry.Dear
Ash, I have not disrobed in EVERYTHING that I’ve done. “Basement Jack”…not
naked, “Corpses”…no boobs there, “The Prometheus Project”…zero T & A, “Night
Of The Demons”…wish I was naked but nope, “The Hazing” not naked …oh f*ck, yeah
I am, anyway- you get my point.
Obviously I don’t think that disrobing “goes against the
constant and never ending fight that is the objectification of women in
cinema”. Jesus, why not just watch a movie and enjoy it instead of picking it
apart with the feminist “I hate men and all beautiful women bullshit”? Would
you have a problem if we were showcasing dicks in horror films instead of a
chick’s beautiful breasts or a perky ass? I would. Why? Cause dicks and balls
are not sexy! Women, on the other hand are. Speaking of objectifying, do you
think a woman is objectifying herself when she puts on a little lip-gloss or a
skirt? Or what about a sexy halter dress for a wedding, or a bikini at the
beach?
Woman spend thousands of dollars each year to make
themselves look beautiful for not only themselves but for others. Why is it such
a crime that a woman look beautiful or disrobes on film? Especially, when she
herself does not have a fear of the human body nor is she ashamed of it.
Remember there is no gun to my head forcing me to make these films as there is
no gun to yours forcing you to watch them.
Women have been showcased and showcasing their bodies since
the beginning of time, remember Adam and Eve? They only put on the f*cking fig
leaves AFTER they ate the fruit that made them feel shameful. In my opinion you
are only objectified if you don’t feel comfortable doing something. As for your
“never ending fight to stop the objectification of women in cinema”… sorry sista,
it’s a fight you’re not going to win and it’s not going anywhere. Why? Because
your dad, your granddad, your brother, boyfriend and more then likely your
feminist girlfriend ALL want to see beautiful naked chicks.
Richard: What do you do when your
doorbell rings and it’s a Jehovah witness at the door?
Tiff Sayz:
Don’t know, never had one. However I would like one to come by. I had two of
those kids from the Church of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints. I think
they’re Mormons – not sure. Anyway they came by once when I was living in LA
and I let them in. I was totally curious what these probably 16-year-old boys
had to say. They came in, we chatted about life, work, relationships etc. Long
story short these boys (let’s call them John and Paul) gave me homework and were
going to come back the following week, Wed at 3.
Cool, I figured I could brush up on my religion and I
didn’t have anything going on till the following Friday, so I accepted my
mission, I was going to be a child of the Mormon church, I was going to reflect,
re-examine and re-birth myself, this would be DOPE!! Ok, so I didn’t do a
f*cking thing. The “homework” sat on my coffee table getting stained by the
ashtray and base of my wine glass and a few phone numbers I needed to jot down.
Damn, those lil dudes were going to be pissed. “Ding dong”, the doorbell rang
at exactly 3PM. I thought about not opening it, but then thought, “what can
they do…really?” So I opened the door and they came in to my smoke filled
living room and asked me a shit-pile of questions in regards to the scriptures I
was suppose to read and the faith journal I was suppose to keep. I said I use
my “Faith” journal on a daily basis but left it at work when I was showing it to
another actor – (Lie #1).
Then I told them that I did read the scriptures but was
very confused and that maybe they could read them with me (Lie #2 and major,
MAJOR MISTAKE). I had to sit through John’s crappy, overly happy reading while
Paul held my hand and told me to do weird prayer type things. Now mind you,
this was still very interesting. I was just waiting for them to bring out the
sacrificial kitten. Well the kitty was never brought out, it never did get
cool, and I never became a Mormon. *Sigh* So, to answer your question, “what
would I do if a Jehovah Witness knocked on my door?” I’d let them in of
course!! Hell I’d even let the Mormon kids back in – “Brigham young”…bring
those bitches real young.
Tiff
sayz: Well there you have it. Sex, objectifying women AND
Religion, this column gets better and better. Next week we’ll discuss the social
commentary within horror films, The Iraq war and the violin theft epidemic. Oh,
and just in case you were wondering what I want for Christmas I’ll tell you. I’m
really in to getting that multiple edge brownie pan, how dope is that??!!! Also
I’d really like to win the lotto or have somebody secretly put $9,999 in my
pay-pal account. Sex-em, Objectify-em, and then have em pray. Peace be to all. –
Tiffany Shepis
EMAIL YOUR QUESTIONS TO TIFFANY HERE
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