Crystal Lake Second Opinion: Why the Friday the 13th Prequel Misses the Mark

Tyler

Controversial opinion alert: Not only is Crystal Lake a bad Friday the 13th show, but it’s also just a bad show, period. From government conspiracies to treating drugs like magical conduits that cause people to commit murder, the big claim was that this show would be Elevated Horror. And let’s not forget how the great Joe Bob Briggs described that term: “Elevated horror is a term used by people who hate horror to describe horror films that they like.” That’s all I can think about when watching Crystal Lake. This show feels like it’s being made by someone who hates Friday the 13th and is trying to inject it with elements that THEY like. And yeah, it doesn’t help that this is an adaptation of one of the more middle-of-the-road entries in the franchise. But it’s the film that started it all, so it makes sense to cover its origins.

You know what doesn’t make sense? Completely changing the dynamic between Pamela and Jason. Making Jason the subject of a science experiment. Or changing the name of one of the most iconic figures in horror.

Well, folks, grab your machete in a comically exaggerated fashion. We’re taking a look at why Crystal Lake misses the mark.

What Crystal Lake Gets Right (And Wrong)

First of all, let’s get this out of the way: like what you like. I’m going to criticize a lot of things in this show, but that doesn’t mean I’m criticizing you personally. There are things I enjoyed. Linda Cardellini and William Catlett deliver fantastic performances and have great chemistry together. The kills are among the best we’ve gotten in the franchise in years, largely because they aren’t being cut to pieces by the MPAA. It’s also awesome to see Blairstown, New Jersey, being used as the town itself.

There will be some positive observations along the way.

Now, I love Friday the 13th because I love a zombie Jason teleporting around and murdering people in all kinds of creative ways. The kills come often, and even when they’re heavily edited, they’re still there. However, let’s acknowledge that Crystal Lake was never going to be like one of those entries. Pamela is really only a major presence in the first film, and this is supposed to be her story, not Jason’s. But there’s one problem with that.

The Problem With Adapting the Original Friday the 13th

The simple fact is that the first Friday the 13th film isn’t particularly great and doesn’t feature many of the elements that would eventually make the franchise beloved. Yes, we can appreciate this first entry for what it spawned, but very few people rank it among the best installments. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter and Jason Lives are generally considered to be among the franchise’s strongest entries, and for good reason. It’s a blast watching a hockey-mask-wearing zombie murder people with supernatural strength and a bad temper.

By comparison, the 1980 film is extremely slow, has less personality, and features characters who are little more than paper cutouts. And you know what? That’s fine. It’s the perfect type of film to revisit and reinvent because it wasn’t all that great the first time around. That’s what I feel remakes should be doing anyhow. Why remake something that’s already perfect? We don’t need a Jaws remake. But Friday the 13th is certainly no Jaws, so it’s a perfect candidate for some creative changes. Unfortunately, change doesn’t always mean improvement, and there was a lot of lateral thinking going on here. Random pieces of the mythology were changed, not to make the characters or story better, but seemingly for the sake of being different.

Pamela doesn’t need a surrogate daughter to trauma-bond with. Losing her son is supposed to be what sets her on this path, not her relationship with a girl she barely knows. But it’s not like what they do with her son is much better.

Jason Voorhees (Wittering): A Very Different Character

Jason is a terribly written character in Crystal Lake for the simple reason that he’s essentially two different people. The first ten minutes show us a version of Jason who’s a sweet little boy with a very positive relationship with his mother. There’s not even a hint of a problem between them. She’s clearly interested in his hobbies, and he loves her. So why does he completely disappear after drowning?

This kid is literally hanging out in the woods, sometimes within feet of his mother, yet he absolutely refuses to go to her. That would make sense if there were some friction between them during the little bit of time we see them together. Instead, young Jason and the older version feel like completely different characters. All of this could have been fixed by making him more in line with what we eventually see. Show him as someone who likes being alone, who feels his mother is overbearing, or who believes she’d be better off without him. Someone who doesn’t fit into society. Give us a reason why he would rather stay in those woods than return to his mother’s embrace. Instead, he becomes this feral mountain man who skins girls alive and murders people, but somehow still has the presence of mind to disappear afterward.

And yes, Jason was technically hiding in the woods during the original film, too. But we don’t see Betsy Palmer’s Mrs. Voorhees searching those woods for her little boy. We don’t know what happened during those years. And once Jason finally enters the picture, she’s dead. Here, Pamela is alive and well, and Jason still wants nothing to do with her.

There’s also the matter of how Jason drowns in the first place. In the original, counselor neglect causes Jason to drown. That’s why Pamela is so furious with the Christies and the counselors at Crystal Lake. It makes sense that she’d be driven to such extreme measures. In Crystal Lake, Jason goes off on his own to retrieve a volleyball for his friend. Mrs. Christie even comes over and tells the children it’s unsafe to be in the water, instructing them to get out. Jason doesn’t listen and goes back in anyway. That’s right: they make it Jason’s fault that he drowns.

The counselor who leaves Jason behind is heading to the shed to get rope for a game with the children. There are other people around, and she specifically tells the kids to stay in the shallows. Her boyfriend happens to show up, and they spend some time together. Is it irresponsible? Sure. But it’s not the same level of negligence we’ve seen in previous versions of this story. The children aren’t completely abandoned, and nobody is deliberately putting them in danger. To the point where I don’t even care if these counselors get their comeuppance. They aren’t really at fault!

And then there’s the drowning itself. Everyone is being ushered away from the water, so if Pamela is going to blame anyone, it’s Mrs. Christie, who fails to notice that Jason hasn’t left the dock. To make matters worse, that character is practically window dressing throughout the show, so don’t expect much of a reckoning.

But Pamela hears what’s happening and starts running through the woods to find her son. So let me get this straight: Pamela has enough time to run through the woods and swim toward her child, but Jason still manages to disappear? What?

And you know how Betsy Palmer’s Mrs. Voorhees is so traumatized by her son’s death that she does everything she can to prevent the camp from opening again? Well, in this show, the camp is preparing to reopen less than a year after Jason’s drowning, and Pamela is even returning to her old job. She really doesn’t seem particularly traumatized.

Oh, and here’s another thing: his name isn’t even Jason Voorhees. It’s Jason Wittering! How do you take someone whose name is so iconic and change it? The explanation is that Elias would be able to find them, so they had to change their surname. They keep the exact same first names, Jason and Pamela. If she really wanted to avoid being found, she could have easily changed those, too. This kind of sloppy thinking might be acceptable in a regular Friday the 13th movie, but that’s not what Crystal Lake is trying to be. It’s attempting to make sense of the mythology and failing miserably.

And there’s nothing more frustrating than how it explains Jason’s abilities.

Project Argonaut: Explaining Jason’s Powers

Pamela experiences placental complications while singing on stage and is approached by the mysterious Dr. Valentine. He recruits her for an experimental trial that might save her baby. Pam is desperate enough to sign up. She successfully gives birth to Jason, but later accidentally allows him to drown in the bathtub. Thankfully, he somehow survives, giving us our first indication that something unusual is happening with this child.

Meanwhile, Jason’s father, Elias, is being heavily promoted at work for his experiments on his son. The project is called Argonaut, and its goal is to develop a human being with the kind of resistance to radiation, nuclear fallout, and biological trauma associated with cockroaches. The implication is that Jason’s body can rebuild itself after sustaining injuries, becoming stronger in the process. That’s supposedly why he has such incredible strength and seems practically impossible to kill. The experiment is also used to explain his accelerated growth, which is convenient considering the story takes place just nine months after his drowning. They probably didn’t want a baby Jason running around the camp. Not exactly intimidating.

But while the show is busy trying to explain Jason’s supernatural abilities through science, he still manages to teleport. I’m not sure which part of the experiment is supposed to account for that. And look, the ridiculous teleportation is one of my favorite traits of Jason in the franchise. Just watch Jason Takes Manhattan to see this guy cover massive distances in practically no time. It’s done to make him scarier because you never know when he’s going to appear and attack. But I repeat: Project Argonaut is supposed to provide a scientific explanation for Jason’s abilities. So why introduce an explanation that makes everything even more confusing?

There’s also the matter of Pamela’s deteriorating mental state. You know how she’s supposedly traumatized and starts hearing and seeing Jason, including the familiar “Kill her, Mommy!”? Well, apparently, that’s because of the pills she was given during the experiment. So it isn’t even her trauma that’s driving her madness. It’s the medication. Great. Let’s take away the last bit of her agency.

Pamela and Jason’s Relationship Is the Heart of the Franchise

There are few things more important to Friday the 13th than Jason’s relationship with his mother. It’s literally how Freddy Krueger is able to manipulate him into coming to Springwood in Freddy vs. Jason. They don’t call him Mama’s boy for nothing. And their dynamic in the first episode is genuinely sweet. But Jason is killed off within the first 15 minutes. So instead, the show has Pamela develop a relationship with Grace, the only child who was particularly nice to Jason at camp.

Giving Pamela this dynamic with Grace lessens the impact of Jason himself. They even take away one of Pamela’s most iconic kills, where she returns to the reopened camp and murders two counselors who sneak away to fool around. Instead, they give that kill to little Grace.

I won’t lie: it’s really cool to see the scene recreated in such detail. We got something similar earlier in the show with another hippie following Annie’s path through town, recreating moments from the original film. Those callbacks can be fun.

My issue is what the scene seems to suggest: taking a lot of LSD causes you to murder people. I’m sorry, what? I thought we’d evolved past the Reefer Madness style of hysteria. Apparently not, because this show suggests that taking enough LSD will cause you to hallucinate and start killing people. And it’s not simply that people at the time held these ridiculous beliefs. It’s the actual conclusion the police officers reach.

Grace essentially becomes Pamela’s surrogate daughter, and much of Pamela’s motivation for seeking revenge shifts away from Jason’s drowning and toward the injustice inflicted upon Grace. She doesn’t kill the hippies out of revenge for her son. She kills them to protect Grace.

Then, when Pamela and Jason finally cross paths in the final episode, Jason almost strangles his own mother to death. In what world would that ever happen? Oh right. This is Jason Wittering, not Voorhees.

One of the hallmarks of the Friday the 13th franchise is Jason’s love for his mother and, in return, her love for him. This show seems to be saying that she actually cared more about Grace. And people don’t understand why that would be frustrating? Pamela’s plan to keep Grace from telling the police what actually happened is essentially to tell her what to say. Yeah, I’m seeing some pretty significant holes in that plan. Kids aren’t exactly known for being particularly convincing liars.

The Stranger Things Episode: A Detour That Hurts the Story

Remember back in 2017 when the second season of Stranger Things came out and everyone seemed to hate the episode where Eleven goes off on a side mission that feels completely disconnected from the rest of the series? The previous episode had ended on a cliffhanger, with the Demodogs preparing to wreak havoc on the facility where our heroes were trapped. So it’s understandable that viewers were annoyed when the show delayed that conclusion for an entire episode to focus on a side story. Crystal Lake pulls the same trick.

Episode seven decides that it hasn’t told us enough about Pamela’s backstory, so now we need to see the science experiment firsthand. We’ve already discussed the specifics, so I won’t go through all of that again. The entire tone changes, as does the aspect ratio, and we’re suddenly transported to an entirely different decade. And we’re there for the whole episode. This wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t like watching a movie for the first time while already knowing how it ends. It loses much of its impact because you’re simply waiting for everything to go from point A to point B.

We already know Pamela and Jason leave after the science experiment goes wrong, and we know Elias is pursuing them. Yet we spend an entire episode watching this unfold in the most predictable way possible. At least subvert our expectations!

The Bear Is a Problem

I knew I was in trouble the moment this bear showed up. I’m not sure there’s ever been an instance where a CGI creature appears in a horror property and it doesn’t look completely ridiculous. But then we’ve got Pamela making eye contact with it like Corey Cunningham trying to have a moment with Michael Myers in the sewer. They look like they’re ready to become one. Why is this in my Friday the 13th show?

And look, I don’t hate the idea of a bear eating people and helping conceal some bodies. This is the wilderness. Bears are out there. It makes sense. The problem is that Officer Brooks is immediately suspicious. He acts like a bear killing two guys in the woods is such an impossible explanation that it might as well be an alien conspiracy. He’s obviously right about Pamela being responsible, but the writing makes him far too suspicious, far too quickly. This man notices things during an autopsy that even the licensed technician misses. It’s a little much.

Pamela Gets Away With Everything: The Lack of Consequences

Pamela is able to kill people and get away with it throughout this show. We just discussed the bear, but at least that situation has an explanation that makes sense for the location. What doesn’t make sense is how the police fail to find it suspicious that a restaurant burns down and a woman dies with her lower jaw missing. I know crime scene investigations have advanced considerably over the years, but Pamela leaves behind a mountain of evidence.

Then, when Pam kills the entire group of hippies and one person escapes, I remember thinking: Thank goodness. The genie can’t be put back in the bottle. Pamela is finally going to be on the run. Except no. The police pin the murders on the surviving hippie, and Pamela gets off scot-free.

Every time it seems like there will be consequences and a problem Pamela has to navigate, the writers essentially say, “Nope, moving on.” It makes the whole story feel increasingly weightless. There’s no real tension when the protagonist can seemingly do whatever she wants without facing any meaningful repercussions.

The Characters Are So Stupid

Isn’t the whole point of Elevated Horror to give us characters we actually care about? Going into this, I figured that was a no-brainer. We’ve got eight episodes, so make us care about someone other than Pamela or Jason. And to be fair, I quite like William Catlett’s Officer Brooks. But even he makes some of the stupidest decisions imaginable. I’m still absolutely befuddled that his big plan was to hide Pamela in the basement of the police station. And he just lets these guys, who clearly have bad intentions, walk right in. He seems to think that because he’s a cop, they won’t murder him. That’s the kind of logic I’d expect from a twelve-year-old who thinks the world works that way.

We get hippies who are little more than walking stereotypes, with no real personalities beyond “peace and love, man.” There’s literally a moment where one of the hippies channels Grace’s dead mother and essentially goes after Pamela for killing her. I thought this show was supposed to be going for realism!

Or take the counselor whose defining characteristic is that she has found Jesus and no longer wants to have sex. Her boyfriend’s response is essentially that he’ll find someone else. Seriously?

I would have rather spent more time with the townspeople at the diner. They actually seemed somewhat interesting!

Elias Voorhees: A Wasted Opportunity

There are few actors I love as much as Hamish Linklater. The man always delivers, and if you don’t agree, you really need to check out Midnight Mass, where he gives one of the performances of a lifetime. So I was very pleasantly surprised to see him pop up as Jason’s father, Elias. Again, not Voorhees, but I won’t hammer that point home any further.

Linklater brings a cold, calculated approach to the character, making you hang on every single word. He manages to make Elias incredibly intriguing. So what do they do? They kill him off.

Yes, this is the character we’ve been waiting to see for years. He’s appeared in so many unproduced scripts, and we’ve come so close to getting him in previous attempts to expand the mythology. We finally get him, and Jason crushes his head in the final episode.

The dynamics are all over the place, and I question why they even bothered introducing Elias if they were just going to get rid of him. He could easily have been a character whose presence looms over the story, someone who continues to influence events without needing to be physically present. You don’t get rid of him in season one. Worse, Pamela survives for another season!

“Friday the 13th Has Never Made Sense”

I really hate this argument. One of the most common defenses of this television show has been that the Friday the 13th series has never made sense, so why do you care? My reasoning is pretty simple: because this is supposed to be Elevated Horror. It’s supposed to make sense.

Nanobots are really stupid, but they make sense within the science fiction world presented in Jason X. Everyone has always looked down on this franchise, so this is supposedly the opportunity to raise it above its schlocky roots. Which means it has to be held to a higher standard. I’m not going to criticize Friday the 13th for the same things I criticize Hereditary for. That’s the nature of the business.

If you liked Crystal Lake, then great. You can continue enjoying it. But as someone who has been waiting 17 years for a new entry in this franchise, getting something so antithetical to everything I love about those other ridiculous movies is incredibly frustrating. And then to be told that my frustrations are wrong, that I’m expecting too much from my dumb murder series? That’s beyond frustrating.

I’m sure a second season will come along, and it’ll go even further off the beaten path. Maybe Jason will grow antennae and wings so he can get around even faster. But that’s not what I want from Friday the 13th.

And it’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for: get in those comments and tell me why I’m wrong.

More Crystal Lake Coverage on JoBlo

Want another perspective on the Friday the 13th prequel? Check out our other coverage:

• Crystal Lake: Our Series Review
• Crystal Lake: Video Review
• Crystal Lake: Easter Eggs and References Explained
• Crystal Lake: Novelization Review