Box Office MoJo is reporting on a gander of films recently given ratings by the MPAA, and I’m sorry to be the one to tell you… but you won’t be surprised by any of the results.
First up, Jessica Alba’s THE EYE, given the teen friendly PG-13 for violence/terror and disturbing content. Wow. Aren’t you, like, so excited to, like, check that out? At least Alba’s hot, and the theater is the only place you can stare at her 20 foot tall ass and not get weird looks, so there is an upside to things…
Next is another ‘surprise’ rating, this time for the PROM NIGHT remake, starring hottie Brittany Snow… yup, you guessed it, rated PG-13 for violence and terror, some sexual material, underage drinking, and language. Underage drinking??? I can’t believe the MPAA let that slide! What will the youth of America think when they see people their own age drinking on the big screen? Oh, the humanity!!! PG-13 can suck my ass.
Now I’m getting pissed. Here’s another PG-13 gem, I AM LEGEND, given the ‘all audience’ friendly rating for intense sequences of sci-fi action and violence. Well, that I pretty much expected, and given it’s a big budget action/effects movie starring Will Smith, released during the Holiday season… they’d be crazy to release it with anything else.
With all this PG-13 going around, are there any R rated horror movies hitting theaters anytime soon? Yes. A couple. George A. Romero’s DIARY OF THE DEAD just got slapped with an R rating for strong horror violence and gore, and pervasive language, and CASE 39 also went R due to violence and terror, including disturbing images. Which is funny, if you think about it, considering PROM NIGHT’s PG-13 reasoning sounds way worse than CASE 39’s R rated reasoning… just goes to show you that the MPAA has their heads shoved way up their asses.
So there you have it! That Utopian world without PG-13 horror flicks doesn’t exist yet, and likely never will, but least we know there’s at least a few R rated gems to keep us rockin’ into 2008. To check out more ratings by the MPAA, go ahead and click HERE.
Alba and friends. Damn.
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