ARROW INTRO:
Opinions are like a-holes, we
all have them, they all matter and sometimes they make some wet noises you
just can’t ignore. My point? There is no point, do with that what you will.
With that off my chest, here are the
Top Genre Films of the Year
according to my trusty and ass-kicking
staff. NOTE: Mistress of the Year and The Arrow’s Top 10 still to come!
Some of the titles are in my own Top 10, others I haven’t seen and
one I hated with a passion…just goes to show that my aforementioned “a-hole” statement
has some weight to it. The floor is yours guys and one doll! MOP IT THE F*CK
UP!
THE HILLS HAVE EYES
BUY THE DVD HERE
BY AMMON GILBERT (SENIOR
NEWS EDITOR)
When sitting down to think of my favorite horror film of 2006, I soon realized that while there was a lot of crap released this year (WHEN A STRANGER CALLS, THE OMEN, PULSE), there was a lot of good flicks
released as well. THE DESCENT, SNAKES ON A PLANE and SAW III were all up
there on my list (not to mention HOSTEL, MONSTER HOUSE and SLITHER), but
there was one genre flick that had me by the balls and didn’t let up Alexandre Aja’s
THE HILLS HAVE EYES.
Yes, it’s true… a f*cking remake is at the top of my list, but goddamn it, what can I say- the flick was a gritty, violent and super-intense ride that made me vow to NEVER set foot in New Mexico ever again. F*ck that place. For a movie to have me swear off all future travel plans because it was so damn scary and demented is really sayin’ something, and I have to give it props.
Most folks walked away with one of two thoughts running through their head: 1) that was f*cked up, or 2) that was f*cking awesome. Me, I had the later thought, as the amount of bloody violence that I witnessed on the big screen stroked me in all the right ways- I mean, seriously, how was that than R rated movie- felt more like an NC-17 ride to me! And talk about intense, not only was the infamous ‘rape scene’ one to die for, but the killing of the family pet and the stalking through the nuclear waste-site of an abandoned town had me at the edge of my seat with my bloody fully curdled.
The camera work and directing style of Aja really paid off here, and if you enjoyed
HAUTE TENSION (Arrow’s 2004 Movie of the Year), then this flick is for you.
Not only was the flick slick and visually stunning, the poster and subsequent DVD art kicked ass- not your average ‘pasted faces in a row’ cover we’re used to seeing.
All in all, THE HILLS HAVE EYES is the real deal- a complete package of
unrelenting horror and violence that doesn’t hold back on the gore or pull
any punches. If you’re looking for one flick to party down with and say
goodbye to 2006, and say hello to 2007- this is it! Let’s just hope ’07 brings a kick-ass HILLS HAVE EYES 2!
BY SCOTT CARMICHAEL (NEWS
EDITOR)
In my
opinion the best horror film of 2006 was one that crossed the genre borders
and delivered both comedy and gore all in a nice little package. Of course
the film I’m referring too is James Gunn’s SLiTHER! That’s right folks; the
film about slugs that turn you into zombies has burrowed itself a nice cozy
home in my horror filled heart.
Why would I choose this flip-flop genre film? Well it may be because of
Slither’s Horror Boner Recipe. You don’t know what that is? Well let me
school you on it!
SLiTHER HORROR BONER RECIPE
1 Cup NIGHT OF THE CREEPS 1 Teaspoon Troma
½ Table Spoon of THE SOCIETY Sprinkle one liners
graciously
2 Cups James Gunn 1 Cup Nathan
Fillion
-Mix all ingredients together for 90 minutes, or until proper boner firmness
is accomplished.
That’s the best way that I can describe it. The film contained so many cool
elements that seemed to work really well together. The whole comedy-horror
thing can really be hard to nail, but I think that SLiTHER did an awesome
job at it. Much like Simon Pegg did in his tribute cross genre flick SHAUN
OF THE DEAD, Gunn delivered a movie filled with horror references and
throwbacks that have been an influence on him.
And that’s what makes me
enjoy the film so much, because watching this kind of tribute shows me that
it was written and created in such a way that the film’s creation probably
had very little to do with money, and more to do with the love of the craft.
This may not be the deepest film or the most innovative but it was certainly
entertaining, and for me that’s what it’s really all about.
SEVERANCE
BY
DAVE MURRAY (DVD REVIEWER)
It’s
this year’s Shaun Of The Dead. Droll British humour, bleaker than black
atmosphere, and enough guts and gore to keep any gorehound happy! All the
way through Chris Smith’s bloody office outing, I found myself alternately
yelling “What In The Name Of Unholy F***!” at the screen and pissing myself
silly laughing.
While the movie starts out as a cartoon-funny thriller, it
quickly degenerates into a fun filled weekend in hell (but with trees!).
It’s corporate revenge on a massive scale as the seven executives are picked
off one by one.
What grabbed my ass about this one so much was the shift in tone from light
comic fun to serious dramatic horror, bringing real emotional reactions to
bear on the characters and their doomed situation instead of the usual witty
one-liners and tongue-in-cheek antics.
One minute you’ll be grinning and
giggling, then the violence will scare that damn smile right off your face
to run hiding under the bed. With enough stereotypical “office” characters
to go around, and a sweet back story of corporate abuse and shady tactics,
the story is palpable enough to be believable. So much so that when the
tension ramps up, the audience is brought along for the ride.
I won’t give ye all any spoilers or scenes or whatnot…that would spoil all
of the fun…only to say “what the hell did happen to the Manager”!
So
seriously check this movie out when it hits North America! I’d rank it
right up there with The Descent
and Haute Tension for sheer
kickassery, and that’s high praise indeed. This flick is gorgeous, brutal,
well acted and finely executed (pun intended!). And with an original poster
like the one this flick had, how could any self-respecting horror fiend pass
this one up!
BEHIND THE MASK
BY SERENA WHITNEY
(COLUMNIST)
In a world where Freddy,
Jason and Michael Myers exist, a new horror villain emerges from the
shadows. His name is Leslie Vernon and he just happens to be the sweetest
and most charismatic guy one will ever meet. The ambitious future serial
killer invites a documentary crew to record his every step along the way
(from picking his “survivor girl” to the night of his attack) in becoming a
new horror icon.
I was lucky enough to see
this film late this year at the 1st annual Toronto After Dark
Film Festival and I found myself loving every minute of it. This clever,
self referential horror film was a breath of much needed fresh air to
today’s very tired and predictable slasher genre.
Writer/Director Scott Glosserman is able to create a scary movie that both hardcore horror fans
and non horror fanatics will embrace with open arms due to its fanboy horror
references, tongue in cheek humor, and its ability to move the plot and
scare its audience without showing endless shots of gratuitous gore.
(Something that has been rarely seen this year.)
In a year where Jigsaw,
mutated psychos, and bored and psychotic rich people (who like to kill
foreigners) reigned at the box office, it was Behind The Mask, the
low-budget underdog that was the most memorable for me this year. I may be
vague in my description for this movie, but it’s only because I don’t want
to spoil anything for the movie comes out early next year for a limited
theatrical release.
Take my word for it that this “slashermentary” will
hopefully inspire other filmmakers to make much needed and drastic changes
to successfully revamp the slasher genre. Start the New Year off by watching
Behind the Mask! You won’t regret it!
BY MATT WITHERS (INTERVIEWER)
It’s a tough year to pick one "Best"
horror flick, but
for gritty, make you squirm fun I think HOSTEL
surpassed all other offerings. It’s got everything a
genre fan loves – hot girls, ample nudity, creative
gore, awesome torture, wicked turns of events, and one
of the best lines in recent history – "Well I got paid
a lot of money for you, so that makes you MY bitch!"
When you also throw into the mix a likeable cast,
funny diversions (gotta dig the gang of candy loving
kids), and an awesomely satisfying yet open-ended
finish – how can you not love this mangy rascal? Not
just top of the class of 2006, but also an instant
genre classic.
CHILDREN OF MEN
BY
JAMES OSTER (DVD REVIEWER)
Imagine a world at war, a
world in turmoil, a world in which the human race is dying. And if you
watch the news, it is not that hard. In the latest film from
Alfonso Cuarón, “Children
of Men”, he explores this concept in a visually stunning and darkly moody
piece. The year is 2027, and women are no longer able to procreate. Along
with this comes desperation and violence in the streets.
When the youngest
person alive is killed, everything is thrown into turmoil. That is, until a
young woman named Kee (Claire-Hope
Ashitey) miraculously becomes pregnant. Clive Owen is Theodore Faron, a
former activist who is persuaded to help Kee find a safe haven and protect
her from those that might harm her; a task more difficult than he could
imagine.
This is a very rare movie indeed. Part
science fiction, part war time drama, so much so, that you hardly notice the
futuristic aspects and that is a good thing. It becomes part of the story
which is brilliantly told by Mr. Cuarón. The documentary feel of the film
is haunting and so grounded in reality that you are pulled deeply in.
You
are allowed to discover this world through the wonderfully layered
performances of Mr. Owen and Ms. Ashitey. All the performances here are top
notch, especially Michael Caine as Theodore’s “Hippie” dad. Alfonso Cuarón
is a rare breed of director that not only can tell a vivid story with his
camera, but he also knows how to work with actors to bring their
performances to life.
I was lucky enough to see quite a few
movies this year. Many of them were adequate, but only a handful I would
call stunning. And as I sat wondering what, in my humble opinion is the
“best” film of the year and somewhere between “The Descent”, “Lady
Vengeance” and a couple of others, “Children of Men” is the one that spoke
to me.
This is the world we are living in; a violent world where
immigration issues, racial and political issues brig hatred and fear all of
which are very real and sadly almost unavoidable. Alfonso knows this, but
he also realizes that without hope, there is nothing left; and that is clear
in the story he tells. This is the rebirth of some kind of light to pull us
out of the darkness, which makes this the best, most provocative film of the
year.
SILENT
HILL
BUY THE DVD HERE
BY PAT TORFE (NEWS
EDITOR)
This
year, I didn’t spend too much time in the theatre (something called
‘college’ and ‘homework’ got in the way), but the few times I did go, I made
sure I got bang for my buck. And while some fans were disappointed with how
SILENT HILL turned out, I’m confident enough to say that this is probably
the best video game-to-film adaptation in a while.
I boogied down to
Christophe Gans’ earlier work in BROTHERHOOD OF THE WOLF, and I wasn’t
disappointed with what he gave fans of the Konami horror series. He actually
‘got it’, unlike some directors, who take advantage of the situation and put
their own spin on stuff *cough*Paul Anderson*cough*. Gans used camera angles
straight from the games at times, and I for one went bonkers every time I
saw shots like that.
True, there were some aspects of the film that could’ve been improved. Gans
sure likes to run things long at times, and while the film dragged at
points, it wasn’t that big of a deal for me, since there was a lot of eye
candy on the screen. Bringing in Sean Bean to do the ‘Where is my wife?’
thing was kind of lame, though someone had to be there to make the ending
work.
Speaking of which, folks who didn’t get the ending need to go back and
play the games, since the ending echoed the cliffhanger endings that were in
the original, and leave the door open for (hopefully) a sequel. All in all,
if RESIDENT EVIL didn’t do it for you, then check out SILENT HILL, which is
probably as close as you can get to a video game on film done right. PYRAMID
HEAD FTW!
BY ANDRE MANSEAU (DVD
REVIEWER)
The Descent is an easy and almost unmatched pick
for horror flick of the year. Before I’d seen it, I was completely sucked in
by the badass trailer, and the positive praise from our own
Arrow-in-the-Head-Honcho Mr.Fallon. Unfortunately, I was a
effectively ate my balls. Anyway, I ponied up the dough on opening night,
expecting a decent flick, but got much, much more than that.
The Descent is a story which centers
a cave filled with the unknown, but they also are slowly descending into
madness. Every single relationship is tested, and pretty much in the worst
ways imaginable- the caves themselves are frightening enough, and eventually
the women run into- well, pretty much the scariest group of
cave-dwelling predators you could imagine.
This movie is absolutely brilliant. The acting is nothing short of top-notch, the characters
the atmosphere is tense as hell,
and once the movie gets going, it simply doesn’t let up, not even for a
second (the denouement gets very messy).
You’ll find yourself tensing up
during many scenes, and wondering if you’d react the same way the characters
did; you’ll find yourself questioning their moral decisions and pondering
the dire consequences of a life and death situation. To sum things up,
The Descent is one of my favorite overall films of 2006, because it
successfully scared the hell out of me (which almost never happens), and
didn’t insult my intelligence while doing it. Top notch.
A
SCANNER DARKLY
BUY THE DVD HERE
BY RYAN DOOM
(DVD REVIEWER)
In a year where films were pulled from the recycle bin and sold to the
public as re-imaginings, the mainstream wasn’t exactly top notch in 2006.
However, A Scanner Darkly, a relatively small, animated sci-fi tale,
is the most entertaining, unusual and captivating film I’ve seen in years.
Perhaps it was the surreal animation. Perhaps it was the Keanu factor.
Perhaps it was Phillip K. Dick done right. More than likely, it’s a combo
platter as it succeeded on more levels than it failed. I remember catching a
Sunday afternoon showing with two other people in the theater, and several
times I wanted to turn around to ask what the hell was going on.
I don’t
know about those folks, but half the time I really was lost, but I didn’t
care as director Richard Linklater crafted a story that was both mysterious
and captivating, keeping the audience in a state of bewilderment. And you
can bitch all you want about Keanu Reeves, but he’s like Will Smith. They
both perform at their best with science fiction. Unlike Smith, however,
Keanu accelerates with an extra element of bizarre. A Scanner Darkly
most definitely has a pinch or two of that.
The idea of the mistaken identity and uncertain realism adds that element of
intrigue in everything that Dick wrote, but the panic and paranoia of his
novels have rarely managed to survive a screen adaptation. While some movies
(Paycheck, I’m looking in your direction) screwed it up, A Scanner
Darkly succeeds in bringing the madness of the confused to audiences.
I’m convinced that the life-like animation is the main reason for that
success. It allows viewers to enter into this world without question, adding
a drug effect of the main characters. Of course, the strange story helps too
with Keanu as an undercover drug agent who’s hooked on the most powerful
drug on the planet. Then there are his druggie pals (Woody Harrelson and
Robert Downey Jr.), who believe they are the victims of a government
conspiracy, and his dealer (Winona Ryder), which Keanu tries to hook up with
repeatedly.
Both Downey Jr. and Harrelson in particular are extremely
unsettling and down right funny in their drug fueled paranoia states as they
attempt to reason why (there’s a great scene where they debate the merits of
the speeds of the bicycle). While Ryder doesn’t offer much, it’s Keanu’s
show.
It’s almost as if he’s in a constant state of confusion with eyebrows
pointed downward as he attempts to ascertain whatever is taking place. But
it works. Keanu has that every man quality that makes him both likeable and
venerable. Nevertheless, the movie stuck with me for the next few days after
I departed that Sunday showing, which always is the true test of a great
flick. While no one’s winning any Oscars here, A Scanner Darkly is
the best of its genre for 2006. It felt fresh and original, which is a
godsend.
HAPPY HORROR NEW YEAR TO ALL!
KISS SOMEONE YOU LOVE, LUST,
BOTH OR NEITHER!
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