HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY – November 18th
It doesn’t get any more badass than this. Ron Perlman and his cronies of superhero ass-kickers are back in one of this summer’s funnest movies. And just in time for the holiday season, too! This beast is three discs and full of enough features to really get you got and bothered. Sure, one disc is likely a ‘digital copy,’ the latest gag to make you spend a few extra bucks for your favorite DVD, but still… this beast should be well worth it.
The Goods:
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THE LAST HOUSE IN THE WOODS – October 14th
Could this be the long-awaited sequel of THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT? Oh wait, no… no, this is just a straight to DVD rip-off of the ‘classic’ Wes Craven film. All joking aside (or was I?), Ghost House Underground is the latest genre-specific DVD label to hit shelves this Halloween season, and this flick here… looks to be one of the best entries we can look forward to. Probably because the title alone scares the hell out of me.
The Goods:
CLICK HERE TO ORDER THIS DVD
THE SUBSTITUTE – October 14th
When I first saw this, I was half expecting Tom Berenger or Treat Williams to be lurking in the background, holding an AK-47, or maybe just an Uzi, ready to crack the skulls of the punk-ass kids they’re supposed to be ‘teaching,’ Then I realized that this was another type of SUBSTITUTE, more along the lines of THE FACULTY (says so right on the box!) than cheesy STD action movies. The Arrow’s review of this beast was top-notch, meaning if you’re looking for a good time, THE SUBSTITUTE is your ticket!
The Goods:
CLICK HERE TO ORDER THIS DVD
TRACKMAN – October 14th
I can’t really tell what this is about, other than the fact that this guy is really scary to look at. Seriously, I’m so scared that I think I might have just peed myself. I’m not joking, right now I’m sitting in a puddle of my own urine and I can’t even get up to clean myself because I’m so scared. Because of this cover. That’s f*cked up. You know what else is f*cked up? The trackman’s pic-axe. I foresee a movie with a high and bloody body count… sweet… makes sitting in my own urine well worth it.
The Goods:
CLICK HERE TO ORDER THIS DVD
ROOM 205 –October 14th – Because every time I stay in room 205 really messed up things happen. Like the cable’s out, or there’s no hot water. Scary stuff.
NO MAN’S LAND –October 14th – Because this Reeker fellow could be the next Hitcher. And no, I’m not shitting you.
DARK FLOORS October 14th – Because any movie that exploits people’s fear of elevators is a-OK in my book!
That’s all for this week! Stay tuned every week for your latest DVD news, and as always, feel free to shoot me an email (ammongilbert@joblo.com
) for any & all DVD news, scoops, and easter eggs!
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