DONKEY PUNCH – April 7th
This may be the first time in DVD history where the RATED and the UNRATED DVD covers look identical. But here you have it, both look exactly the same. The ocean isn’t red with blood on the UNRATED box, nor is there some sort of obscene gore shot to let you know that this version is, in fact, not deemed OK by the MPAA. Either it’s really smart… or really dumb. Or it just hasn’t been released yet. And yes, I’m totally avoiding the fact that this film is based around the ‘donkey punch’ sex act. It’s easy fodder, you say, to make a crack or a snide remark. Yes, yes it is. A little too easy. A little too juvenile. And what else can I say other than ‘donkey punch.’ If you know what it means, saying that alone should bring a smile to your face. If not, Google it, then have a laugh.
The Goods:
CLICK HERE TO ORDER THIS DVD
HOUSE – April 7th
DONKEY PUNCH might have mistakenly kept the same DVD cover art for both the RATED and UNRATED versions, but at least they didn’t screw the pooch like the cover to HOUSE, which spelt star Bill Moseley‘s name wrong! I mean, Jay-sus Key-riste! It’s one thing for a schmuck like me to misspell a name in an article, but the flippin’ DVD? The official flippin’ DVD? What a disgrace. Which sucks, because I was gonna say how HOUSE was actually a pretty enjoyable little horror flick that stole bits and pieces from other movies, but managed to stay new and fresh (at least to me), and the whole Christianity undertones were not as blatant as you’d think (until the end, that is). But now, all I can say is I can’t believe they spelled Bill Moseley‘s name wrong!
The Goods:
CLICK HERE TO ORDER THIS DVD
BLED – April 7th
Instead of the DVD Buzz-Saw, this week’s column should have been entitled DVD F*ck-Ups. This one isn’t really a f*ck-up, per se, but it is pretty flippin’ retarded. And I quote, From ONE of the Executive Producers of THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE. Seriously, that’s the hook that’s supposed to get somebody to watch this thing? It sounds like a joke, like one of those silly spoof movies that say “from two of the four guys who brought you…”, except here, it’s for real. Imagine if every movie boasted about their executive producer of all f*cking people, like they determine a film’s worth or not. I have a better idea. Why not just say From the dude who watched THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 37 times in a row. Then at least I know the guy’s a horror fan.
The Goods:
CLICK HERE TO ORDER THIS DVD
SAM’S LAKE –April 21st – Because this cover looks amazing….ly crappy. But it could be cool!
THE SINFUL DWARF –March 31st – Because the world needs more dwarf exploitation movies.
THE SHE-BEAST – April 28th – Because this has potential to be totally awesome, that is, if the cover has any reflection of the movie itself.
That’s all for this week! Stay tuned every week for your latest DVD news, and as always, feel free to shoot me an email (ammongilbert@joblo.com
) for any & all DVD news, scoops, and easter eggs!
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