RA: Red Heat

Last Updated on July 26, 2021

RED HEAT (1988)
Rating: 2 on 4 / Buy the DVD here

Tag Line: Moscow’s toughest detective. Chicago’s craziest cop. There’s only one thing worse than making them mad. Making them partners.

Directed by Walter Hill
Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Belushi, Ed O’Ross, Peter Boyle, Larry Fishburne, and Gina Gershon

THE PLAN: When Viktor Rosta (Ed O’Ross), a Soviet criminal, kills a Soviet cop and flees to Chicago to escape persecution and choreograph a massive drug deal, the Soviet’s send their own Captain Drako (Scwharzenegger) to bring him back. Drako teams up with the wise-crackin’ Chicago police detective Ridzik (James Belushi) after Viktor and his chronies kill Ridzik’s partner. A buddy-cop movie ensues where the cops are anything but buddies.

THE KILL: It’s the mid-late 80s, and you’re Arnold Schwarzenegger, still on top of the world after the widely successful TERMINATOR, COMMANDO and PREDATOR, but hitting some walls with other projects like RAW DEAL and THE RUNNING MAN. So you jump on the “buddy-cop” train since it seems to be working swell for Mel Gibson & Danny Glover, and it’s sure to be a success because the buddy-cop film you decide to do will be directed by Walter Hill, the director of 48 HOURS, one of the first buddy-cop movies of the decade.

I can only imagine that was the mind-thought that Schwarzenegger and his agent had when he agreed to star in RED HEAT, a movie that’s fairly uncharacteristic of Schwarzenegger, both in the films before and after this one. A buddy-cop movie? Arnold? Seriously? That said, there will always be a soft spot in my heart for RED HEAT, mostly cause it was on TBS all the time when I was growing up, and so I watched it in bits and pieces until I caught the whole thing uncut from beginning to end. That’s when I realized: wow, this movie had titties? And a ridiculous amount of blood splatter per gun shot? And a ton of swearing? Who knew???

Make fun of my hat one more time.

While not anywhere near THE TERMINATOR films or COMMANDO, RED HEAT showcases Arnold doing what Arnold does best: acting like a robot. He’s stiff, he has very little personality, his voice is in monotone for the most part, and yet it works… cause he’s playing a Russian. And apparently Russians are just like Robots… at least according to RED HEAT.

But let’s get down to business. How’s the action? Surprisingly plentiful! RED HEAT is action -packed from beginning to end, and not just car chases or other less-violent excuses for action either. I think every action sequence in the film involves a gun, or at the very least, ends up with someone getting blown away. And when I say blown away, I really mean it! It seems like every kill is delivered by one or four extra shots–just to make sure they’re really dead, I suppose. Schwarzenegger’s a badass Russian cop who’s strictly business, has no concept of the Miranda law, and has eyes focused on the prize and nothing else. The prize, of course, is taking Viktor down, preferably in a blazing gun-battle. That’s Scwhazenegger’s style. If only his character was given a bit more personality, it might have been up there with Douglas Quaid, or John Matrix. There’s also a bit of classic Schwarzenegger up in the house, including telling someone “Trust me.” (in Russian, no less), and walking around shirtless.

Have you seen my dick and balls? I think I left them over there on your shoulder.

In the “funny cop” role is James Belushi, and I guess he serves the part, but he’s been funnier in other movies, and most of the jokes here involved dicks and balls; however, there were a few lines that had me laughing out load. Actually just one (see below). Other than that, he was just a titch above amusing, an average performance from an overall average movie.

The supporting cast is greater than it probably should be. Larry Fishburne as the cop with a bone to pick with Belushi, Peter Boyle as the police chief, Gina Gershon as the whore (just like she was in OUT FOR JUSTICE), and Ed O’Ross as the villainous Viktor. He rocked the house, as far as
villains go, as he was the stereotypical cold-hearted Russian. A real slime ball quality was brought to the part. Nice work!

I also have to mention the musical score by Academy Award winner James Horner. The score here works well enough, and is actually perfect for this type of 80s action movie, but what drove me crazy were the parts of the score that seemed to directly rip-off COMMANDO, a film he also happened to compose the music for. I don’t know if it was on purpose, or it’s just what he thinks of when he’s scoring a Schwarzenegger picture, but once I noticed the similarities, I couldn’t shake it. Then again, the Russian parts of the score seemed quite authentic, so what the hell are ya gonna do?

TERMINATOR 5: RETURN OF THE RUSSIAN CYBORG

At the end of the day, RED HEAT isn’t one of Schwarzenegger’s best films, but it is an entertaining action flick. When Scwhazenegger fires that cannon of his, he doesn’t miss (he doesn’t even need to reload), and he’s always sure to hit 3 or 4 times before he’s through. The buddy-cop
relationship doesn’t seem to lift off the ground as they didn’t seem like buddies, or friends, or even a couple of dudes who like each other until the very end. I see the whole “opposites” angle they were going for (one’s straight-edge, the other’s not), but it didn’t work here.

That said, the action is relentless when it kicks in, and surprisingly brutal and violent for a “light-hearted” action movie like this. The bus chase alone at the end of the film is worth a look, as is the snow fight in the beginning. There will always be a place in my heart for RED HEAT, thanks to the umpteen times I checked it out on cable, and for for that it’s worth a look. If you’re a Schwarzenegger fan, you’ll have fun with RED HEAT, but if you’re looking for a buddy-cop movie that pushes the envelope, hit up LETHAL WEAPON or 48 HOURS instead.

Trailer for RED HEAT!

TOP DEATH:When Schwarzenegger blows away the transvestite nurse, it’s incredibly brutal, and surprisingly hilarious. When one or two shots would have killed this chick, Schwarzenegger plugs her 6 times before blowing her through a window. Take that, man nurse!

TOP ACTION SCENE: The shoot-out at the Bus station is followed up by a chase sequence involving two buses through the city of Chicago that turns into a game of Chicken and is truly one to watch out for. It might not blow your mind, but it goes over the top!

Damn women drivers!

TOP HOMOEROTIC MOMENT: The film opens up in a Soviet workout gym where only a tiny flap covers the family jewels, featuring a ton of muscle men working out, and s few shots of Scwarzenegger’s bare ass when he’s fighting 3 guys in the snow. On top of that, Belushi can’t stop making cracks about his dick and his balls. Then there’s the above-mentioned transvestite bit, and Arnold in the shower. Not that there’s anything wrong with all that, but… yeah. Schwarzenegger’s gayest movie ever.

FEMALE EXPLOITATION: A surprising amount of titties are flashed on screen, though none are featured for more than a few seconds. The workout gym referenced above also had a number of naked chicks lounging around and being… well, naked. Schwarzenegger turns on a porno in his sleazy hotel room, and some random hooker gets in the middle of a gunfight, showing off her goods while screaming her head off. Not a lot of “awesome” nudity, but plenty of nudity just the same.

TOP LINE/DIALOGUE:
[Schwarzenegger breaks off a thug’s fake leg and pours out a white powder from inside it.]
Schwarzenegger: Cocainum!

[Schwarzenegger’s watch alarm goes off]
Belushi: What’s that?
Schwarzenegger: My watch. It’s on Moscow time.
Belushi: Time to pick up Pokey?
Schwarzenegger: Time to feed parakeet.
Belushi: What’s that, Russian for “jerking off”?

 

Go ahead. Make my day.

DRINKING GAME:Drink everytime Belushi takes a crack about his, or someone
else’s, dick or balls.

TRIVIA: The filmmakers were officially denied a permit to film in Russia’s “Red Square,” so they filmed the scene guerrilla style, dressing Schwarzenegger in uniform and filming the scenes with just a couple crew members. Nobody stopped them.

BUY THE DVD HERE

COCAINUM!