Reviews & Counting
# A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
End of Days(1999)
Written by: The Arrow
Director: Peter Hyams

Arnold Schwarzenegger/Jericho
Robin Tunney/Christine
Gabriel Byrne/Satan
Kevin Pollack/Chicago
6 10
Year 2000 is coming soon and Satan has arrived to earth. Taking the body of suave Gabriel Byrne (great choice) he now must find his bride Christine York (Christ in New York…get it?) (Tunney) and copulate with her, which will somehow open the gates of hell and end mankind forever. Not having seen \"Commando\" he didn’t count on suicidal ex cop Jericho Cane (Schwarzenegger) who gets mixed up in all of it and decides to take care of Lucifer the old fashion way…with a clock 9 millimeter. Satan VS Schwarzenegger…my money is on the Austrian fellow.
The Omen on steroids. This movie delivers a lot of explosions, hand to hand combats, crazy chases, visual effects that will blow your mind and extreme violence but the script is full of holes and is very silly (the way Arnold finds Christine is very weak, the devil’s inability to kill an Austrian bodybuilder and Satan pissing gasoline to blow up a car…lol). The film fortunately takes itself very seriously, filled with \"drama\" therefore making it a laugh riot. Seeing Schwarzenegger mow down the devil with a machine gun or slap a rocket his way, cracked me up.

The Prince Of Darkness isn’t the smartest fellow in the world, he does catch Arnold at a certain point but decides to pull the \"James Bond\" goof and not kill him (he wants him to witness the end of mankind), instead he crucifies him to a cross and lets him live. Big mistake, Arnold recovers, stops by the gun market and decides to send Satan back to hell. The movie is fun but you can put all the creepy music you want, load it with tons of religious mumbo jumbo, have all the satanic/religious cults in the world there…it’s still an Arnold Schwarzenegger bang bang movie. In my book…there’s nothing wrong with that. Where the devil at???
When Satan gets peeved he’s not afraid to express his emotions through carnage. Ripped off head, ripped out heart and he sheds enough red stuff to open up his own blood bank.
Arnold Schwarzenegger (Jericho) plays himself again with a dash of \"Lethal Weapon\" in there for good measure (he’s suicidal due to the death of his family). Kevin Pollak (Chicago) does the comic relief bit again, he’s done it so many times now that it’s boring. Robin Tunney (Christine) gives a vulnerable, focused performance. She’s very likable in this one. Rod Steiger (Kovak) needed a new car. Gabriel Byrne (Satan) is obviously having a great time playing ol scratch, he takes lots of liberties with the role and we have a blast with his performance.
T & A
Quick pair of breasts and Tunney almost reveals her own but pulls a quick turn around…pretty sneaky.
Hyams tries to pull a few fake scares but drops all that quickly and sticks to what he knows best. He knows how to film action sequences. Having done two Van Damme films (TimeCop, Sudden Death) he’s now ready for the big boys. Lots of overhead shots, lots of explosions, lots of mayhem. The movie is tightly edited and moves very fast.
An eerie chanting score that tries to fool us into thinking that we’re watching a serious, Omen like film. Not fooled. Some kool rock tunes (Guns N Roses, Eminem, Everlast).
The script is laughable and if you expect a serious horror film about the end of the world, then you will not be pleased. Every attempt to elevate this movie on a serious level is crushed by Arnold’s bigger than life presence. He can’t help it…But if you like your Arnold movies, want to see him wear kool shades again, love destruction and want to see what he would do if the devil ever dared to bust his balls…check this one out…you’ll have a rocking good time. Bang Bang Bang…take that you devil.
The part of Satan almost went Udo Kier’s way…but the producers decided they didn’t want two Germans battling each other. Mr. Kier got the small part of the devil’s henchman instead.

The movie cost 160 million to make.