John “The Arrow” Fallon’s Top 10 of 2012

JOHN “THE ARROW” FALLON’S TOP 10 OF 2012

2012 is done, we got what we got in terms of genre films and from my perspective 2012 was a subpar year. If Hollywood keeps up this uninspired and assembly line like work ethic in terms of our beloved genre, it will slap it back in the gutter it used to rot in the 90s.

2012 saw more big budget reboots, sequels and a couple of quasi original titles (Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter  and The Raven come to mind) that varied quality wise and the progression of the cheap-jack found footage films being passed on as real movies. Alas, the subgenre seems to have given Hollywood carte-blanche to churn out mediocrity. Don’t get me wrong, I dig a good found footage movie as much as the next clown but this year they hit me with crap that beyond insulted my lack of intelligence and my wallet. Yes I speak of Chernobyl Diaries, The Devil Inside and Paragarbage Activity 4. How the hell did those wind up on the big screen???! Blows my mind. The Walmart bin would have been more appropriate.

Chernobyl Diaries… really Hollywood?

Outside of the found footage subgenre there was no reason for these sorry excuses for films to exist either: Piranha 3DD, The Apparition, Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, Gone, House at the End of the Street and Battleshit. Again, how did these get on the big screen? Maybe they would have gone down better STD. It’s like Hollywood has stopped trying to make good genre movies for the big screen! They’re just pumping out products and hoping for a profitable opening weekend. Sigh…

Then there was the Dredd debacle, which for me was a stand-out moment in 2012. The well rounded flick made JACK-SHITE at the box office and that acted as a statement as to how our society is changing, and is not really in tune with my own individual mind-set. Yeah the marketing was poor, Karl Urban wasn’t a huge draw, people didn’t know the comic or thought it was a remake of Stallone’s cheesy version. SO WHAT? What happened to going to see a movie cause it looks f*cking cool and badass? That’s why I went to see RoboCop way back then! Cause it looked awesome! Not cause Peter Weller starred in it. Maybe if Dredd was wearing tighter than tight Jeans and listening to “We Are Young” it would have made money, but I digress.

People didn’t want to see this? WTF? Me no comprende!

Thankfully, the Studio system did put out a couple of winners. Efforts like: The Woman in Black, Sinister, The Possession, Prometheus, The Grey, The Cabin in the Woods and the aforementionned Dredd greased me right. The more low budget or/and Indie side of the genre also came through with the likes of Lovely Molly, Universal Soldier 4, Chained,and The Tall Man. And of course foreign genre treats also lent a knife in gapping the void with offerings like Kill List, The Awakening, Citadel and The Raid: Redemption.

I wonder how long it will take for audiences to get sick of paying big bucks to see an obvioulsy half-cocked, money grubbing piece of shit on the big screen? I can only speak for myself and say: Yo Hollywood! Step up your horror game! I know you’re all about recycling, rebooting or taking a proven formula and beating it to death when it comes to horror, fair enough, I gave up on ya in terms of originality, but can you do me a f-ing favor! Start with a good script, stay out of the filmmakers way, keep the cocaine out of the editing room and give me good horror movies. Paying 14 bucks for a Chernobyl Diaries should be a f*cking crime in EVERY STATE. I should be able to sue you for that! Folks have sued for less (like coffee that’s too hot). I feel better now. I needed to get that off my knife.

Thank you Sinister! Well done original horror! Needed that!

In closing, here are the TOP 10 MOVIES that cranked my dial the most in 2012 (out of the films I reviewed) and the ones that pissed me off cause they didn’t even try to not suck that Panda ass. Enjoy!

PS: If you’re curious as to my TOP PERSONAL MOMENTS OF 2012, click HERE! If not, don’t!