Uwe’s a genius!

By Eric Walkuski

Posted 18 years ago

Last Updated on July 27, 2021

This isn’t “news” in the traditional sense, but ’round these parts we’ve got to make special exceptions when it comes to certain people… Okay, one person: Uwe Boll.

A few days ago, a Petition showed up online practically begging for Uwe Boll to cease making movies. Several sites jumped on the bandwagon, supporting the suffocation of filmdom’s most hated auteur. At the moment, there are 138,918 signatures. Boll found out about this and told FEARnet that if the petition reached 1,000,000 signatures, he’d agree to stop ruining the art of cinema forever…

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Now, perhaps seeing the writing on the wall (or the screen), Boll has come up with a brilliant counter-attack: A petition of his own seeking one million signatures in support of him. Or as he likes to put it, “Pro Boll.”

Watch his very amusing tirade below. OR just read the maybe even-more amusing transcript. Or watch AND read along!

“So, hi here’s Uwe Boll and I have a statement to make about that internet petition. There’s a petition out, stop Uwe Boll and I said like if there are one million people on that petition I stop actually making movies.

And I want that’s there’s a petition also out there, like a pro Boll petition and I expect a million votes, pro-Boll. And I hope somebody will set it up and you all start signing it because look… I’m not a fucking retard like Michael Bay or other people running around in the business or Eli Roth making the same shitty movies over and over again. If you really look at my movies you will see my real genius you know, and if you go on May 23 on Postal you will see that I deliver a movie what nobody else delivered in the last 10 years, what is way better as all that social critic George Clooney bullshit what you get every fucking weekend. You have to really wake up and you have to see me what I am. I am the only genius in the whole fucking business. Goodbye.”

You hear that people? He wants that there’s a petition also out there, like a pro-Boll petition – and somebody had better make it happen. Those who appreciate shitty cinema aren’t likely to get another “Uwe” for years and years to come.

UPDATE! Here’s a Pro-Boll petition, which at last glance had, um, 108 signatures…

Source: Movieset

About the Author

Eric Walkuski

Film Critic

10,340 Articles Published

Favorite Movies: Jaws, Star Wars Trilogy, Aliens, Citizen Kane, The Third Man, Dawn read more of the Dead ('78), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre ('74), Fargo, Miller's Crossing, Reservoir Dogs, The Manchurian Candidate ('62), Taxi Driver, Back to the Future, Stand by Me, Shaun of the Dead, Boogie Nights, La Dolce Vita, 12 Angry Men, The Birds, Touch of Evil

Likes: Film, Beer (who the hell DOESN'T around here?!), writing, NY Mets, read more The Jets, Girls who love film AND beer (at the same time), Jazz, Deadwood, The Wire, The Office, The Twilight Zone, Cormac McCarthy, Graham Greene, Stephen King, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Scorsese, Spielberg, Halloween season, Marvel movies, Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, Ash vs Evil Dead, Game of Thrones, Edgar Allen Poe, Mother Nature

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