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-WARNING SPOILERS AHEAD-
1- The film took on way too much at the same time; two villains, too many subplots and not enough time to address all of it properly. Result, the flick felt crowded,
rushed in some instances and disjointed.
2- Why did Harryâ€™s Goblin look like a skater boy, see ya later boy? Probably for the same reason The Green Goblin in the original was a Tonka suit; TO SELL TOYS! Bughâ€¦
3- Was it me or did the two lead actors Toby Mcguire and Kirsten Dunst
phone in their performances without dialing *69 beforehand? Where was the heart and conviction? NOT HERE!
4- The tension between Peter Parker and MJ within their relationship was fueled by utter stupidity in this second sequel (i.e. simpleton writing). They had the communication skills of deaf and blind toads in this one! How long they've been going out again? A while no? Why theyâ€™re still fighting as if they were in Grade 1 is beyond me. It's called "communication" kids! Sadâ€¦
5- In this entry, MJ has become a self centered, overly sensitive ball breaker that needs a tan and some burgers shoved down her throat. Iâ€™m supposed to feel sympathy for this character? WOW! Parker, dump that trinket already, you can do MUCH better.
6- If I was supposed to buy Harryâ€™s amnesia (what a silly subplot) and Harry getting a scratch on his face after a bomb blew up inches away from his head; then I guess I should buy that Elvis is still alive and well living in Honolulu, working at some Big Cahuna Burger joint.
7- Jonah Jameson was underused and misused. And why was Gwen Stacy in this film again? Like really? EXACTLY!
8- Why does Sandman have to keep reminding himself of the motive behind what heâ€™s doing (looking at a locket of his daughter)? Is his short term memory that weak? Sand is getting to his noggin or what??? Ohâ€¦ waitâ€¦that was meant for us! For us to retain sympathy towards the character. Talk about underestimating oneâ€™s audience.
9- Instead of doing its own thing and progressing off the base Part 1 and 2 established, Part 3â€™s storyline just back-tracked to regurgitate elements from the first two films. Love triangle (with Harry)? Check! Uncle Benâ€™s (new) killer getting in the mix once again? Check! MJ in distress for the final act? Check! And the list goes on! Can you spell recycccllling? I obvioulsy canâ€™t, but Spider-Man 3 sure could!
10- The tone was all over the place! Where the first two films managed to remain somewhat grounded even within their comic book settings; this one just went total cheeky on my ass. Jamesonâ€™s vibrating desk???? PLEASSSE! Too far! Peter Parker embracing the dark side equals him doing pelvic thrusts in the streets and gun finger pointing at chicks? WTF? Talk about ruining a potentially gripping subplot (Evil Parker/Spidey) by turning it into a flat-out joke! I was definitely laughing at the film during them scenes, not with it! Embarrassing!
11 - Why does bad Parker adopt a full on "emo" look when affected by the alien black suit with hair grease and mascara in tow? I thought having the evil within him amplified would make the lad more manly, not turn him into a drag queen in training.
12- The many relationships found in the film were far from credible with the Harry/Peter one really pushing the limits in the "I love you", "I want to kill you", rinse and repeat department. WOW! Those guys are worse than them bitches on the O.C.!
13- Lots of the plot turns were triggered by convenient and far
fetched coincidences. Some may say "its a comic book movie, let it
go", I say it's lazy writing. I expect better than that from a Spider Man
Now donâ€™t get me wrong the film wasnâ€™t a total loss. The pace was surprisingly easy for such a choppy effort; some of the action scenes delivered hardcore as to staging, ambition and execution (the early ones anyways â€“ that final one sucked spider-balls), Bruce Campbellâ€™s cameo was mucho funny and Venom looked AWESOME (when we saw him that is-last block only). Furthermore when the CGI effects were on, they were on while both Topher Grace and James Franco constantly stole the show! If only the flick had stuck to one villain, kept Venom for Part 4 (he deserves his own film) and did something fresh instead of going around in circles to give us the same damn thing all over again. Consider this Spidey fan unhappyâ€¦sniff, sniffâ€¦