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Oh yes, Hustler is making an Avatar porn

Jan. 19, 2010by: Paul Tassi

The golden internet rule of "if it exists, there is porn of it" is continuing to ring true as Huster just announced their new slate of porn titles for the coming year, the most notable of which is THIS AIN’T AVATAR: XXX, which will be the blue alien porn you’ve been secretly wishing existed until you almost saw Neytiri’s nipple during every scene in AVATAR.

The problem with an AVATAR porn is that it’s just going to be a bunch of actors in blue body paint doing each other, unless Hustler comes across some insane cash to grab some of Cameron’s CGI equipment for the weekend. Then we’ll just have a weird body paint fetish movie, rather than actual Na’vi sex.

That being said, I’m hoping that most people will be watching this movie mainly because it’ll be hilarious, not to actually get turned on, and I have to believe it will achieve the former goal.

When hearing this news however, I stumbled across a much more pressing concern. Hustler doesn’t know how to name porn movies for shit. Check out their new lineup:

This Ain’t CSI XXX: Chatsworth
This Ain’t Curb Your Enthusiasm XXX
This Ain’t Avatar XXX
This Ain’t Glee XXX
This Ain’t I Dream of Jeannie XXX
This Ain’t The Cable News XXX
This Ain’t The Soup XXX
This Ain’t The Hills XXX

Are you kidding? Half the fun of making porn is coming up with ridiculous titles. Alright, maybe not half the fun, but you get the idea. Also, porn versions of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and "The Soup"? Uhh, I’m alright without seeing Larry David and Jeff Garlin stand-ins bang their respective wives. And "The Soup"? What the hell is that going to be? A Joel McHale look-a-like masturbating in front of a greenscreen? Good lord.

Extra Tidbit: I'd laugh if the entire movie was just guys and girls weaving their hair together.
Source: Hustler

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7:56PM on 01/20/2010

I'll check it out...

...and I hope it's in FeelAround, not 3-D. lol
...and I hope it's in FeelAround, not 3-D. lol
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2:40AM on 01/20/2010
Even if it receives a budget the size of Digital Playground's Pirates 2, this will still be completely retarded.
Even if it receives a budget the size of Digital Playground's Pirates 2, this will still be completely retarded.
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1:22AM on 01/20/2010
Ah yes, the Lost Boys of Neverland personified- the Hustler employees.
Ah yes, the Lost Boys of Neverland personified- the Hustler employees.
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9:43PM on 01/19/2010

Better Than the Original

I think it's safe to say that this is the only type of Avatar movie that will be awesome in my eyes. LOL
I think it's safe to say that this is the only type of Avatar movie that will be awesome in my eyes. LOL
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+3
5:54PM on 01/19/2010
Wonder if it'll be in 3D?
Wonder if it'll be in 3D?
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7:30PM on 01/19/2010
No, it'll be in 34DD!
No, it'll be in 34DD!
4:56PM on 01/19/2010
Almost gave this green cause of the good laugh
Almost gave this green cause of the good laugh
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3:29PM on 01/19/2010

so fukn RETARDED

hustler is really fukn stupid!!!
hustler is really fukn stupid!!!
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1:36PM on 01/19/2010
What's the name of the girl in the picture above?
What's the name of the girl in the picture above?
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1:47PM on 01/19/2010
Bryci... look'r up... she's hawt. :D
Bryci... look'r up... she's hawt. :D
8:57PM on 01/19/2010
Thanks, Donnie. To me she kind of looked like Penny Flame's sister.
Thanks, Donnie. To me she kind of looked like Penny Flame's sister.
1:32PM on 01/19/2010
double post
double post
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1:30PM on 01/19/2010
Something tells me this is gonna be awesome.
Something tells me this is gonna be awesome.
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1:15PM on 01/19/2010

Wow!

If Zoe and Sigourney have a hot girl-on-girl scene, I'll finance some of the special effects.
If Zoe and Sigourney have a hot girl-on-girl scene, I'll finance some of the special effects.
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1:07PM on 01/19/2010

This aint the Munsters

The Munsters paroday is really good. It actually has a bit of the same feeling as hte original show. Just alot more nudity.
This isnt Twilight XXX was a bore. That wasnt Hustler though.
The Munsters paroday is really good. It actually has a bit of the same feeling as hte original show. Just alot more nudity.
This isnt Twilight XXX was a bore. That wasnt Hustler though.
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12:54PM on 01/19/2010
Hustler makes good porn. This could be fun.
Hustler makes good porn. This could be fun.
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12:46PM on 01/19/2010
Can't wait to see this, I wonder if Sigourney Weaver will make an appearance ;)
Can't wait to see this, I wonder if Sigourney Weaver will make an appearance ;)
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